The Red Thread (adoptive mom, Karen Firstbrook)

When you begin the adoption process from China, you are immediately immersed in adoption “lingo.” Words and acronyms like DTC, Dossier, red thread, LID and ladybugs are suddenly everywhere. Our family slowly became versed in all of the adoption lingo, and eventually the words took on personal meaning with our own adoption journey. Perhaps many of you are also well versed on those words, but for some the red thread concept might be new to you.

Let me explain . . .

On many China adoption related websites you will see the Chinese proverb:

“An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.”

Many families hang on to this thought, finding comfort that they will eventually reach the child “destined” for them. Sure, it’s a nice thought, but we were confident from the start that God knew who our Katie was and He would wisely, providentially and perfectly bring us together as a family. Our family isn’t left to fate or destiny, our family is perfectly put together and sustained by our all-knowing, ever-loving God.

With that being said, we also knew that some day we would be given glimpses by God as to how and when He put our family together. We’ll never know all the details of Katie’s first year without us, but we do know she had to endure an abandonment and a year without a family before God would put us together. Even with all of the unknowns, we always felt confident that God would someday give us His version of the red thread.

Let me tell you about the story of our gracious red thread from the Lord:

We began the adoption process in December of 2004 and finally received our referral of Katie Mei in February of 2006. Finally, after so many months of waiting we had a face and information to go with the enormous love and longing we had. It was wonderful, glorious, and all that we imagined. But then I crashed.

After that first afternoon of staring into those eyes and at that sweet face, I suddenly became depressed. All I could think of were Katie’s birth parents. Did they know how cute she was? Who did she get those chubby cheeks from, her birth mother or birth father? Would she be tall or petite? Did they wonder about her everyday? I ached for them. I couldn’t look at Katie’s picture without becoming totally overwhelmed by grief for them.

Then, just a few days after our initial referral picture we received all of our translated information about Katie. It gave what few specific details there were about her abandonment. And then I became angry. Why there? Why then? Didn’t they love her enough to keep her longer? I knew all those questions were ridiculous. I knew in my mind that China has a horrible system that creates situations where parents have to make horrific choices. And within that system Katie’s birth parents made the most noble and honorable choice they could – they chose to give Katie a chance at life, a better life. There was no abortion. There was no abandonment in a secretive, remote location. They left her to be found with the hope for better. But I just could not see that for a few days. Instead of aching with grief, I was hot with anger. I was a mess.

During that time a sweet friend called to encourage me. She reminded me of the story that God is always weaving a tapestry out of our life. All we see is the underside of that tapestry, with the hanging threads and colors that make no sense, but someday, when the tapestry is finished, we’ll see it from heaven’s side and it will be beautiful and perfect and all make sense. It was the perfect reminder and I began again to trust God with all my emotions regarding Katie and her birth parents.

It was just a week or so later that I remembered we wanted to find out what we were doing on the day that Katie was born. I’m not always the best at keeping a calendar, but I did remember to save the calendar from 2005 and so I pulled it out. What do you know – the particular week that Katie was born was a week I had chosen to document every little detail of our lives for a scrapbook project. Not only did I have a calendar of that week, I had journaled and scrapbooked every day of that week! Isn’t God good?!

I ran to the scrapbook and pulled it out. Katie was born on May 11, 2005, so I went to May 10, 2005 – that would be the day here in the US that Katie was born in China. We didn’t really do anything picture worthy that day, so I had journaled more than usual. The one picture I did take on that day was of our i-pod playing, “I Have a Maker (He Knows my Name)” by Tommy Walker. We played this song over and over while we were waiting, allowing the words to remind us that God knew Katie from the beginning, that He was watching over her and caring for her. That day, May 10th, I was listening to that song, and I wrote:

“Just as I was writing down Scripture that I want to remember, the i-pod plays, “He Knows my Name.” Is today the day that Katie Mei is born, or abandoned? Is she already here, waiting for us? I don’t know, and that not knowing is hard, but God does know. And this brings me peace and comfort. I can rest, confident that He knows her and is caring for her already.”

Do you see that red thread in my tapestry? The very day that Katie Mei’s birth mom was in labor and giving life to our girl, her other mother half way around the world was longing for her and praying for her. God orchestrated that. No doubt about it. Someday, in heaven, as I look at my tapestry, that beautiful red thread in there will be for Katie and for her brave and courageous birth mom.

Isn’t God good?

[read more on Karen's blog]

Fire Engine Red (adoptive mom, Karen Firstbrook)

*Originally written May 17, 2010.

Each time I look down at my hands a grin spreads across my face and a prayer is lifted in my heart. You see, my fingernails are painted a fire engine red and the polish is chipping off in most places. For some, painted nails are the norm, but not for this dishpan hands type of Mom. Just two weeks ago while I was visiting, playing, teaching and working at a Special Needs orphanage in Beijing a sweet 10-year-old asked to do my nails, and how could I refuse her? So fire engine red they became, and now each time my nails catch my eye, my heart just about bursts with gratefulness for all God accomplished in the short week we were able to serve in Beijing.

Our trip to this particular orphanage was really five years in the making. It was five years ago that we began the process of adopting from China through All Gods Children’s International. Five years ago we had no idea the blessings and stretching, the joy and the heartache that God had in store for us . . . but we are so thankful for each step He has directed.

As we began the adoption process in December of 2004 our little family of four also began our education into the world of orphans. We had no idea that outside of our door was over 100 million orphans that all desperately need the love and care of a family. Our then 10-year-old daughter Kelsey was dismayed and overwhelmed as she learned that children her age lived their entire lives in orphanages, never enjoying the love and security of a family, never knowing the joy of simple gifts or treats. Kelsey’s broken heart led her to action and she was moved to find a way to send simple gifts of love to older orphans. We contacted our adoption coordinator at AGCI and asked if there was a way to partner with them to send gifts to an orphanage in China. What was born out of those conversations became known in our community as The Knitting Project. Kelsey coordinated the youth and adults of our church congregation to knit scarves for older orphans, and knit they did! Over 100 scarves were knit, and as they were knit, orphans were prayed for. We packaged up the scarves and with the help of AGCI sent them off to a Special Needs orphanage in Beijing that they support.

Fire Engine 1

We were so thrilled to be a tiny part of God’s love story towards these orphans, but God wasn’t finished with the story yet . . . .

Just a month after we sent the scarves we received an email with pictures of the children receiving the scarves. Our hearts almost exploded with joy! To see these smiling children, enjoying their handmade treats was such a gift from God. How good of Him to allow us to get a glimpse of His story! Those pictures became our computer wallpaper and we prayed for those children daily for over a year as we waited for our referral and future daughter, Katie Mei.

Fire Engine 2

It was in May of 2006 that we finally traveled to China with AGCI to bring home our daughter. We loved telling The Knitting Project story to our travel mates and giving them a glimpse of God’s story for these orphans, but God wasn’t finished with the story yet . . .

One of our travel coordinators was a young gal named Annie who lived and worked at The Knitting Project orphanage! She looked at our pictures and told us the names and stories of the children we had been praying for. Again, we were in awe of God’s goodness towards us and how He so graciously allowed us to “know” these older orphans even more. Another chapter was added to God’s story of these precious orphans.

In the years since our adoption we have been privileged to share our adoption journey and the way God blessed The Knitting Project. We loved to share how God worked out so many details and how He kept giving us more and more details of His story . . . and last fall we realized God still wasn’t finished with the story yet . . .

We received an email from AGCI’s Embrace Missions department announcing a Missions Trip to none other than “our” orphanage in Beijing. It took Kelsey and I all of 5 seconds to recognize that God was going to write another chapter in our lives! Wit blessings from my husband and younger daughters, Kelsey and I boarded a plane this April with fresh scarves in our suitcase, headed for Beijing!

Fire Engine 3

To say that loving on the children at the orphanage was life changing would be an understatement. Never in all my life have I been so dependent on God. Never in all my life have I so clearly seen the Gospel lived out in front of me. Never in all my life have I so fully understood God’s redeeming love for me.

The orphanage is full of children with medical and mental special needs. Children from ages 2 to 18 call this orphanage their home and it is here where they live, sleep, play, and learn about the love of Jesus from their precious caretakers and directors. We were privileged to come alongside and present a Vacation Bible School to these children. We spent our days teaching God’s Word, singing songs of His love, coloring, playing, hugging, kissing and praying for these children. It wasn’t always easy. My heart broke and tears fell more times than I can count, but it was a glimpse into God’s heart that was worth every hard moment and more.

Fire Engine 4

Our first day at the orphanage was a shock to us all. We longed to snuggle and kiss and love on these children, but many having just arrived at the orphanage from other institutions within the last few months did not know how to receive such affection. As we picked up the children, they would hold themselves stiff against us. No little legs came wrapping around our bodies. No little heads lay upon our shoulders. It was a surprise to most of the team . . . but for myself it was a reminder of how our little Katie Mei was when she came to us. She didn’t know how to be held, we had to teach her. She didn’t know how to snuggle, we had to show her. And so it was with these little ones. We had to dig down deep and give love and affection even when it was received with resistance.

Some days it was hard to love on every child at the orphanage. In some cases we were overwhelmed by runny noses and dirty faces. Other times we were unsure how to reach out to the children with mental difficulties and to interact with them in ways we were accustomed to. But then the Lord graciously gave me a picture of myself before He adopted me into His family. My sin was more vile to Him than the runniest nose or the dirtiest face. My sin kept me from stretching out my arms and receiving His love. But He persevered. But He continued to love. And my sin was forgiven, and I was made clean. So we would persevere and we would continue to love. We would continue to wipe noses and kiss dirty faces and stretch out our arms and place them in our laps.

Fire Engine 5

And the change we saw in 5 days with those children both broke and expanded our hearts. By the end of our trip they were crawling into our laps for post-nap snuggles. They looked us in the eye as we said over and over, “Wo ai ni.” They grabbed hands and gave hugs, they laughed and accepted affection. One little guy who began his week by hitting me to get my attention ended the week by crawling into my arms, placing his forehead against mine, lifting my hand to his cheek and motioning me to lovingly stroke and love on him. And so I did just that . . . as I gently rubbed his cheek I prayed for him, asking God to show this little guy His love, to grow this little guy into a man of God, to provide this little guy with a forever family and to use this little guy to reach people for Christ.

Fire Engine 6

I know someday soon my red nails will fade and the physical reminder of all God accomplished both in and through our team will not be as easily seen. But my heart will never recover. I will never be the same. I will never stop telling the story of how God used one little girl to knit scarves for older orphans to write an ongoing story of His love and redemption and His heart for orphans. Our family is already praying and asking God that there be many more chapters to this story . . . may God be gracious and allow us many more years of love and service towards these precious children.

[read more on Karen's blog]

Did you know my niece comes home soon from China?! Aunti Kiki is ecstatic to say the least!! Annie’s story has been an adoption miracle from A to Z… I can’t wait to share her with my crazy bloggy friends this summer. In fact, my brother and his family have had a special “Skype date” every Monday night with their new daughter the past several months!  Can you imagine the bonding they have been able to accomplish with Annie!  She has been able to see her new home, new room, new yard, new toys, new siblings and new cat before coming home.

She has grown up only knowing love from the staff and nannys.  Her home has been a little piece of heaven in China. Please take a peek at New Day Foster Home... most of the children living there have special needs and need forever families!  With permission from her new mommy (my sis-in-law) I’m posting a cute video & clip from New Day blog.

The Tornado

“Annie never goes someplace slowly. She’s always in a race – spinning, whirling, and running full force like a tornado. Everyone’s always reaching out to catch her, anticipating falls at every turn. But she rarely takes a tumble, and when she does, she stands up, brushes off, and keeps running! We love her fearless spirit; she’s had it since she was a tiny toddler and we don’t think she’s growing out of it anytime soon!” (New Day Foster Home)

So, we are all anticipating her arrival, but her life has already impacted so many people in China, as well as her precious “sponsors” that have provided for her needs (and fun stuff too.)  For everyone that has had a special part in Annie’s life the past 3 years… we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  There have been hundreds of volunteers that have played, fed, loved and rocked Annie during her time at New Day.  How can we ever thank you for taking the time to love a little “tornado” who God hand-picked to be a part of my family!!  Zoie and Annie will have each other forever to lean on when life gets crazy, but God planned that miracle a long time ago.  Africa & China grew in our hearts and we are blessed!

If you would like to help support Annie- she has some pending surgeries when she comes home, please purchase a T shirt!  They are a beautiful design and you can pray for Annie every time you wear the shirt.  Click HERE to order.

Bloggy friends, I’m ecstatic (yep- I’m jumping around like crazy) to share a miracle with you today for Wednesday WOW- this is the best WOW news ever!!  I’m a brand new Auntie of a beautiful 2 year old named ANTOINETTE “ANNIE” ROSE SMALLEY!!  She currently lives at New Day Foster Home in China and her new family (my family Greg, Erin, Taylor, Maddy & Garrison) received the news today that they have been officially matched with Annie.  The story is miraculous from start to finish, but you’ll have to read their story firsthand on my sister’s blog- It’s A Smalley World.

On a personal note, we started the adoption process 4 years ago and was accepted into the China Program with AWAA. We had prayed for years for clear direction from the Lord about our adoption and dreamed of a daughter waiting for us in China.  God paved the way and we moved forward with our home study and collecting the necessary documents needed for a China adoption.  We had no idea that we would be redirected in such a crazy way- turning upside down all expectations of who our daughter was and where she was waiting for us.  We now understand that typically God does not shine Neon Lights flashing in the direction to move when you are following His ways.  The single reason we could not adopt from China at the time was the fact that my hubby has hearing loss and wears hearing aids in “dual” ears.  The new rules made it impossible for us to move forward with confidence that we would be approved by China’s regulations.  It was painful to say good-bye to our dreams of a China adoption, but we had to trust that God had a different, perfect plan for our family.   We could not have dreamed a baby girl named Senait was waiting for us in Ethiopia.

I want to challenge you to pray, seek, follow your dreams, move forward, set aside all expectations and be willing to go wherever God directs… the miracle waiting will take you to places you never dreamed possible.  Every adoption story is unique and special and challenging and difficult, but the best is yet to come. (I promise!!)  In the end, we received the miracle of a niece from China- God knew all along that my family would expand from Africa to China!  We are celebrating the joys of adoption together!!

Will you do me a big favor?  Please take the time to help My Crazy Adoption win #1 Top Mommy Blog.  Just click on this cute button & it automatically grabs your vote- that’s it.  Click & Click- you can vote everyday for craziness!!  We only need 200 votes to jump up to #3rd place today.

Adoption Bloggy friends- I need to know “Where are you adopting from?”  I have been praying that My Crazy Adoption will grab the attention from families adopting all over the world.  I’ve got a BIG surprise coming soon!  Please join the craziness and feel free to grab my new button- help bring awareness and support and encouragement to anyone interested in learning more about adoption.  Add YOUR blog button- on Inspired Links. Also, add your family pics on Your Photos.  We want a growing photo gallery to show YOU off!! I want to see all countries celebrated!!

Top Adoption Countries that are currently allowing adoptions- I need your help.

1. China

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3. Africa- covers Ethiopia, Rwanda, Uganda, etc…

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