This month on My Crazy Adoption we are celebrating Adoption Awareness Month. I love posting adoption stories from guest bloggers. If you are interested in sharing your adoption story at any phase of the process, please email me.

Today, I wanted to share our adoption story.

When we adopted Zoie Senait, and held her for the very first time, my heart fell deeply in love at first sight.  I know that this phenomenon doesn’t happen for everyone, but it did for me.  I looked into her deep brown eyes and every love song in existence hit my heart instantaneously!!  I was madly in love!!  I write often in my blog about adoption, but I have never fully shared Zoie’s adoption story.  There are some parts of Zoie’s life story that are for our family exclusively… precious things that should be saved only for our daughter.  They are her treasures to share.  However, there are some things that are meant to be shared of God’s miracles, faithfulness, grace, hope, and love.

I have prayed since returning from Ethiopia in July about sharing on my blog the miracle God gave our family.  He planned it step by step and somehow in the craziness of leading a missions trip with 30 extraordinary people, God allowed me to walk into a miraculous adventure.  Honestly, it has taken me a very long time to process the things I saw and touched and smelled and heard and tasted, but now, the time is right to share with you the story of Zoie’s adoption miracle.

On my very first day back in Ethiopia, July 26, 2010, I hired a driver and guide from my agency to help me find the three keys we had in our adoption paperwork.  I had in my hands, Zoie’s birthmother’s name, the police station where she was relinquished, and the area of employment (no address).  It really felt like a mission!!  I was prepared that day to visit the two most important places in my daughter’s life. I thought a few photos would be amazing and special to keep tucked away in her baby book. I wanted to give Zoie something tangible to touch someday if she wanted information about her life in Ethiopia.

I had no idea that my day would embark on the supernatural, cracking open secrets that were inside Zoie’s paperwork that we did not know existed.  My guide, was like an Ethiopian James Bond with the spirit and energy to match the secret spy.  The ultimate goal was to dig up enough information in the few hours I had- perhaps even finding Zoie’s birthmother.  I dreamed and longed to meet the precious woman who gave birth to our beautiful daughter.  I had no idea what I would actually do if we found her, but I had prayed to God the past two years for an adoption miracle.

The information we have on Zoie’s birthmother is limited, but enough to know that she was strong, courageous, smart, savvy, survivor, gifted, and loving at 17 years old when she relinquished her rights.  We received a letter from birthmother that was bittersweet.  She explained in great detail how much she loved her daughter, but also why she was not able to care for her.  I have NEVER doubted her reasons, but often played the scene over and over in my head about the day she had to say goodbye to her daughter, Senait.  I have actually prayed that God would show her in dreams that Zoie Senait is safe, loved, cared for, beautiful and happy.  I want her heart to be at peace.

Our James Bond guide took me and a few of my team to the first location- a clinic to check out details he had found in the paperwork.  I had noooo idea that there was a clinic on our route, but he pointed at a few words in Amharic that were very good “clues.”  At that moment, I realized it was a real possibility that we might actually find Zoie’s birthmother.

He rushed inside and we sat in the van waiting and praying.  He came back very excited about what he found out.  He again, pointed to parts of the adoption paperwork and said enthusiastically, “I think I know where your daughter was born!”  Whatttt??? You think you know where Zoie was born, I repeated loudly.  Where is that in the paperwork? We raced off in the van to a small clinic that our guide thought was the spot.  We were all giddy with anticipation and the entire time I kept thinking, Ohhhh noooo Hubby should be here seeing all this with me! The secret spy took off and we were left alone at the clinic gates.  My instincts kicked in and we decided to explore inside with our cameras!  This is what I saw:

 

 

I was speechless.  I didn’t understand why I was at this clinic… could this really have been where Zoie was born?  My heart was thumping so fast I could hardly breath.  I noticed two women sitting outside the building so I stopped and held out my hand to say hello.  They told me in broken English that this was a very special place.  The new mom shared that this was a clinic that took in very poor people in the community and helped them.  I was so moved by her words that I started to cry.  I thanked her and asked her if this was the building where she had her baby.  She smiled and nodded yes.   I decided to go inside the door marked “Delivery.”  I could barely stumble through the door- but immediately felt this calmness come over me.  I felt peace … everything just made sense in my heart.  The hallway was dimly lit, but I could hear voices.  I walked down a few doors and peeked inside a tiny room.  There was a screen up and obviously someone was having a baby.  I immediately turned to leave, but a woman asked me what I was doing.  Ahhhh the sense of being caught, flooded my face I’m sure.  She motioned for me to come inside and I was embarrassed due to the people inside helping with the delivery.  I bowed slightly and apologized for being there, but they all looked at me with puzzled faces.  I gulped and said as quickly as I could, the truth- “I adopted a beautiful baby girl two years ago from Addis Ababa and I believe she may have been born here at your clinic.”  Well, at that moment, the staff burst with excitement and started asking me many questions.  I was weeping and trying to answer all their questions when the mid-wife hugged me and thanked me for adopting a child from here and she started crying.  I was a mess!!  The hospital staff rushed me into another tiny room and opened a big, thick book of names and dates.  Was I dreaming?  Was this really happening?  They asked me the name of the mother and the date of birth.  My heart was pounding as they poured over the book.  Meanwhile, the rest of the group was trying to find our spy guide- who had completely disappeared for over an hour.

 

We found Zoie’s birthmother’s name and Zoie’s three dates of immunization- real, living tangible proof that she had been there.  We will never know 100% if she gave birth at this clinic, but the midwives explained to me that typically the place mothers bring their children for immunizations, is the place they delivered the child.  When I touched her name in the book, God gave me overwhelming peace that He had a reason for me being there that day.  I will never be able to thank the incredible clinic staff that day that helped me piece together a mystery of love.  They allowed me to take a photograph of a young mother holding her baby for the immunization… I was weeping (the ugly cry) knowing this was the very chair our birthmother sat in holding Zoie Senait.  This was a real place, with real people, helping others in their time of need.

My team literally had to pick me up and help me back to the van.  I was a wreck.  I could not wrap my brain around the things I had witnessed at the clinic.  Ourguide pointed at one more word in the adoption paperwork- spelled KORE.  I had looked at that word before but had no clue what it meant.  He told me that our birthmother lived in Kore and he would take us to the church to see if anyone recognized her name.  It was almost too much for my heart, but we plunged ahead to see if we could find someone who knew our birthmother.  The van bounced down the narrow streets- worst I have ever seen and finally stopped in front of a beautiful church.  He shared that if a mother was in trouble, this is where she would come for help.  He showed several locals the photo of Zoie and mother’s name, then took off running with several women and men.  There was a real excitement in the air.. they recognized something!!  We were instantly surrounded by locals… I was so nervous, but didn’t really realize that we were left alone.

The guide came back, but had disappointing news… they met two mothers who had given up their children at the same time, but they were not my birthmother. I was so happy to have found this place and had such an overwhelming sense of peace in my heart knowing the things I found out today.  It was time for us to go, but had no clue that more miracles were coming in the morning!!

You might have read blogs from people that have traveled to Addis Ababa and ministered with Project 61 at the Korah Dump.  I read those same blogs too and watched the videos, weeping over the poverty and filth that I saw in the faces of the people living on the dump.  I had no idea that God was going to give me a different view of the dump and a miracle for our daughter, Zoie.  This is a living testimony of God’s mercy and goodness and glory all wrapped up in a place called Korah.

The next morning, my missions team headed to Project 61… as we bounced down the streets in our big bus to the dump, I glanced out the window and thought- this place looks really familiar.  As we jostled farther down the narrow dirt streets, I kept starring outside and my mouth literally dropped open.  I was back in Kore!!  Was my daughter’s Kore- Korah???  I had no clue where we were, but everything looked familiar.  We pulled up to this little building and the sign said Project 61.  I was completely shocked that I was back where my daughter was born and the morning was a blur of activity.  I really have no idea how to express to you what was going on in my heart.  When I walked out on the dump- you can’t see where it ends.  It’s just endless hills of trash.  But, I saw Korah with different eyes- I looked at every face and tried to find Zoie’s face.  I looked at their smiles, hair, teeth, eyes… trying to find my daughter.  I saw her every place I looked.  This was her home, this was her people, this was my daughter’s community.  I fell deeply in love at first sight.  I know that this phenomenon doesn’t happen for everyone, but it did for me.  I looked into the heart of Kore and every love song in existence hit my heart instantaneously!!  I was madly in love!!

Isn’t it amazing that God CAN change our lives with one word.  For me, it was Kore.

I pray that you will look at the faces of Korah with beauty, and dignity, and respect, and love.  God has used our beautiful daughter, Zoie to grow a powerful love in our hearts for this community.  My family will give our time and effort and life to simply love the people of Kore.  I want to personally thank Sumer Yates and her family, Samuel Liben and the Great Hope staff, Alicia Jordan, and P61 for loving Kore with all your hearts.  We are thrilled to hold your hands and serve the beautiful people of Ethiopia! (special note- I can’t wait to share what our family will be doing in 2012 with the men of Korah- stay tuned!)

My Crazy Adoption is GIVING AWAY a mission trip and I want to challenge you to come with me and serve the fatherless. Please continue to spread the giveaway news on your blogs, FB, and Twitter. Together we can make a difference in the life of a child who desperately needs to hear God’s love for them.

BUY YOUR {GIVEAWAY} TEE HERE.

Here are a few of my favorite Korah posts from blog friends that I love:

Melanie Strobel – My Child of Korah

Emily- Korah

Big Nanny- Love Stinks.

Sumer Yates- Project 61

Korah video:

November is National Adoption Month, a time to raise awareness about the adoption of children and youth from foster care. In honor of Orphan Sunday and Adoption Awareness, I’m thrilled to share some amazing adoption stories from bloggers and posts to inspire you to open your hearts to adoption and orphan care. This month, you can WIN a mission trip to visit orphans here. Every single purchase of a Missions Giveaway tee will touch the life of an orphan in 13 countries all over the world. You can be a part of changing the life of a child and the winner- together!

I hope you find encouragement as you read “Who Picks Who” one of my favorite and most difficult posts to write. We are grateful to celebrate adoption and the miracle God gave us- our precious daughter Zoie Senait.

Have you ever asked yourself these questions:

• Do I pick adoption or does adoption pick me?
  
• How do I know if I’m really called to adopt?
• Is adoption right for me?
• Will I have an “Ah Ha” moment?

Well, how do you know if you should adopt? You might be feeling in your heart to adopt, but your head is thinking, “God, adoption? Do you know how many details I would have to work on?” I have been asked many times how does this big ‘”Ah-ha” happen… the exact moment when you knew adoption was the right thing for you to do?  Every adoption story is different and personal and unique.  We all have expectations for how we think life will play out, and we all hope those plans will become realities.  But, what happens when God calls us to do something crazy out of the ordinary?  What do we do when the “ah ha” is too big and too scary and too risky?

Adoption is not for everyone, I understand that we all have different callings, gifts, talents and passions.  James 1:27 “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”  We are all called to do something, to take care of orphans…whether it’s sponsoring a child, missions, foster care, financial, or adoption.  This is my adoption story, the one God wrote for Roger and I… a story we had no idea how it would play out or end.

It’s difficult for me to look back in time at my own personal journey to adopt Zoie, but if my story can help encourage or point you in the right direction, it’s worth it to me.  In 1999, my heart was finally healing over the loss of our son and the craziness of having a 26 week old micro-preemie, who was now a healthy three year old.  I loved being a mommy and desired to expand our family through adoption.  My biggest hurdle was convincing Roger that we should adopt.  It seemed like such an easy question, but it had taken me a long time to find the courage to ask.  I had no idea how he would respond.  I will never forget the day I asked my hubby, “Do you want to adopt?”  In 0.2 seconds, Roger said, “Nope.” Okay, perhaps he did not hear understand what I was referring to, so I asked the same question in a different way. This time I knew he heard, because his reply was even more accelerated this time, “No, I’m sorry, but adoption is just not for me!”  I asked if he would pray about it and he said he would, but I think he said that just to put an end to the conversation.  I never spoke to him about adoption again.  A simple question, turned into a dangerous surrender of my heart.

Three years later, my hubby out of the blue asked me a question that totally caught me off guard, “Do you still want to adopt?”  My mouth dropped, I was speechless.  I remember stuttering and laughing and choking out the words- “are you serious?”  I couldn’t believe that God had answered my prayers in such an extraordinary way, but it was three years later and so much had changed in my life.  My children were older and life was feeling easier and calmer and quieter- they were both in school.  I wasn’t so sure anymore if adoption was “our thing” so I told him lets give it some time and think about it.  How could it be possible that my heart wasn’t willing, and my reasons were so shallow.  I struggled constantly asking, “God, why are you bothering me with this?”  I had shared my desire to adopt several times during my “hiatus” with my mom, my best friend and others – they all said the same thing… are you crazy?!  Fear had settled into my heart.  Fear to not do something radical and unfamiliar.  I did not know a single person in my community that had adopted a child… I was clueless about the adoption process.  I believed that without the blessing from my hubby, family and friends I would never have the courage to adopt.  It was a case closed in fear.

It’s crazy I know, but God cracked opened the case files.  He urgently prompted Roger and I to move forward with adoption.  I know that sounds really strange, but I can only explain how it happened for us.   Our “Ah ha” moment came six years later after my original request.  Our breakthrough was an adorable, spunky nine year old who became our family ambassador.  She begged and prayed and pleaded and nagged and insisted we adopt a baby.  We came up with brilliant excuses, but our daughter, Hannah was relentless.  We loved being a mom and dad, wanted to expand our family, but how in the world were we going to know if we heard His voice and make the right decision for our family?  We started praying for clarification, neon signs flashing, anything to help us know what to do.  Our son pretty much thought we’d lost our marbles- even told us we were “whacked,” but we committed to prayer.  We prayed and prayed for two years, but still fear was our worst enemy.  We were scared to death and it made us feel paralyzed to make the final decision to adopt.  We finally had several friends who had adopted or were in the process of adopting, but we just couldn’t move forward.

What do you do when you are afraid?  Anxiety means, A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties. Fear was flat out keeping us from doing the work God had planned in our lives.  We started hanging up verses all over the house.  Our favorite was Philippians 4:6-7 and we claimed that verse and spoke it out loud every chance we had.  There are too many crazy stories to tell you, but when we finally wrote out a check to an adoption agency, AWAA (awaa.org) and filled out the application to start our adoption to China, we were overcome with thrills, chills and slight nausea.  This was it… we knew there was no turning back.  We were surrendering our inconveniences, expectations, dreams, hopes and family to jump in faith and obey God’s voice.  We had to trust He had a plan for our lives that would lead us to a place of peace.

Do you get it?  Adoption picked us.  It picked us and it wrecked our lives for the better.  We are a part of something so much bigger and its not about us. We are crazy in love with our children, advocating for adoption, orphan ministry and encouraging other families to step into the world of adoption or foster care.  At first, we avoided God’s call and then surrendered to His plans.  He never let go of us and He will guide you, too. John 14:18 “No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” He can and will provide for you-and for what He has called you to do.  He never leads us where he will not sustain us- The manna will come!

In an upcoming post, Adoption 101: Joy Opportunity Lost, my hubby and I discuss what happens when you are called to adopt and you miss the opportunity.  This is for the doubters, the stumblers, the procrastinators, the “I’m still think’n about it”, the excuse makers, the runners and the “God, are you talking to me?”  Roger and I tried them all out for many years and I want to help eliminate the danger of you missing out on God-breathed adoption miracles.

I’d love to hear your “Ah Ha” moments when adoption picked you.  Please share your breakthroughs in the comments with me.

Great story of a mom who struggled with the term “just adopt”

Click here to buy your GIVEAWAY tee!!

1 tee = 1 entry to win a mission trip!

I’m so excited to have my dear friend, Alicia Jordan guest blogging and sharing her adoption story.  Alicia works fervently for Visiting Orphans and Project 61 (she’s on their board). She has a spirit of mercy and encouragement.  Whenever I have the privilege of talking to her about my Ethiopia mission trip (she’s also MY trip coordinator) she is such a blessing and really helps set the pace for my Simply Love mission trips.  Thank you, Alicia for your BIG heart and love for the fatherless!

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O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Psalm 34:8

I do not know the pain of childbirth, I do not know the pain of losing a school age or teenage child, but I do know the pain of being a barren woman. I know the pain of an empty womb that will never be full. As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that pain cannot be compared. I cannot compare my pain to yours. I cannot describe the pain of baby showers or labor stories or nursing stories or the longing deep within for a biological child. Yet, God has been faithful. Over time, the longing has been soothed, but not erased. This is the plan for our lives and it’s God’s perfect plan.

God choose to bring life into our family through adoption. Here’s Stephen’s unique story:

We knew that adoption was our next step. Months before our fertility treatments, I had seen a Dr. Falwell Old Time Gospel Hour where he talked about the Liberty Godparent Home. Sometime in September 1999, I called the adoption agency in Virginia and asked if they had a long waiting list. I had heard that domestic adoption waits were 2 years or more. The lady told me that they actually didn’t have a very long waiting list. We started on the paperwork immediately. Budgets, references, bios, fire escape plans, background checks, physicals, question after question about our marriage, our personal life and our faith. It was probably 50 pages of documents. We filled them out quickly and mailed them the beginning of October. It would be 30 days before we would hear if we had been approved by the board.

Derek was scheduled to go on a mission trip to Kenya with PT (our pastor). Derek debated canceling because of the miscarriage following our invitro treatment. I encouraged him to go. I would be fine. They went and their team led thousands to Christ.

While Derek was gone (this is mid to late October) we received two phone calls about birthmoms that wanted to view our files. We didn’t even know that we had been accepted and approved by the board. One mom was interested and we needed to do a video as soon as Derek got home. We shot the video in our family room and we’d pause the video and Derek would lie on the floor in between segments. Partly because of exhaustion from the trip and partly because of some mysterious illness he picked up in Africa.

We mailed in our video the beginning of November and the weekend before Thanksgiving, we met Stephen’s birthmom. She told us she was having a boy, “Did we have a name picked out?” We had been discussing names for months, possibly years. Stephen had never come up as a choice, but I had just studied Stephen in a Bible study and fell in love with the story of Stephen. As the heavens opened, Stephen could see Christ standing at the right hand of God. Christ stood for Stephen as he was stoned. It’s the only time in Scripture that we see Christ standing for someone. (see Acts 7:54-60)

Anyway, I said, “What do you think about the name Stephen?”

She loved the name. It is her father’s name. So Stephen not only has a biblical name. He has his biological grandfather’s name. Isn’t God good?

Stephen was born December 18, 1999. We had to wait 25 days for all the paperwork to clear. We didn’t see any pictures of him. They asked us if we’d be willing to come share a testimony Sunday morning at Thomas Road Baptist about the Liberty Godparent Home and what adoption meant to us. They told us that they would give us Stephen later that day in the evening service. They thought the church would love to be part of his “Gotcha Day”. Was that okay? Sure, why not?

We shared our testimony for the church that morning and this is what happened next…. DON’T MISS THIS VIDEO!!
(Note: Our last name and place of residence was kept quiet because of adoption policies)

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!!!

Alicia’s Blog

This is your personal shout out for your adoption or missions projects!  My Crazy Adoption Blog is dedicated to bringing the craziness straight to you- sending readers to check out your links every Saturday.

If you have a special project, fundraiser, or blog post you want to share with my crazy readers click on the “Inlinkz” at the end of this post and include your link with an eye catching title for your project.

You can also leave a comment including all your project information and permalink (example http://tinyurl.com/3t4fxbo: ) to take readers directly to your site.

YOU INSPIRE ME!!

 

{Updated with Winner’s names!!} 

1. Congrats to Chante: “We have adopted a nine year old son from Haiti and a nine year old daughter from Ethiopia. We would love to have this book for our family!”
2. Congrats to Becky: “Our now 5 year old daughter, born in Ethiopia, has been home for 13 months. I would love to read this book, we have felt the effects of so many of the listed losses, feelings, etc.”

When we started our adoption process, a friend gave me the book by Sherri Eldridge. Honestly, it scared me to death! I tried to read a few pages, but it made me feel tense, weepy, and afraid.  I remember talking to Roger about my feelings and he encouraged me to wait until Zoie came home and read it when I felt more confidence with our new daughter. It really was the best advice for me … I think sometimes we can read so many books and helpful advice pre-adoption, it can cause a lot of stress. I’m not a professional, but an adoption coach/cheerleader/mom who has gone through the adoption process from start to finish.

Here is a great list (straight from the book) you can read and gain a sense of understanding about how your adoption son or daughter might be feeling. Zoie is only three years old, but I want to make sure we stay on top of her feelings and validate her unique needs. I’m confident that when challenges or issue surface with our adoption, Roger and I will have some great resources to help us through.

{Giveaway} Today only, I’m giving away 2 copies of the book for 2 special adoption families.  Leave a comment and share with me what country you adopted/or in process of adoption.  I will update this post with the winners names.

Special Mission News: Are you interested in going to Uganda & Kenya in October with Visiting Orphans- GREAT NEWS: We just found out that there is a BOGO sale on airfare for our October 12th to 24th Kenya/Uganda trip. You could save BIG (by $1K-the total trip cost now would be $2300 to $2500) and visit orphans at the same time! Sign up ASAP here:

1. I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible.

2. I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed.

3. If I don’t grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered.

4. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you.

5. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them.

6. Just because I don’t talk about my birth family doesn’t mean I don’t think about them.

7. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family

8. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how painful the details my be.

9. I am afraid I was given away by my birth mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame.

10. I am afraid you will abandon me.

11. I may appear more whole than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden, so I can integrate all the elements of my identity.

12. I need to gain a sense of personal power.

13. Please don’t say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences.

14. Let me be my own person but don’t let me cut myself off from you.

15. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don’t tell other people without my consent.

16. Birthdays may be difficult for me.

17. Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times.

18. I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle.

19. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me, and respond wisely

20. Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents.

Q- Are you dealing with any of the twenty things with your adopted child?  Will you share ….

You Inspire Me!

If you are raising funds for adoption or orphan care … I want to help!  Click on the Inlinkz at the bottom of the post and add your information.  If you need Inlinkz 101- take a peek at the description below.  Also, feel free to leave a comment and share your story and project.  This is YOUR shout out!!

PS: If you are selling Simply Love gear … please leave your blogs and links in the comments with a description of your project.

What is your main fear about raising money for adoption or a mission trip? I want to know …

What in the world is the “Inlinkz” at the bottom of this post?  Well, I want to continue to shout out for your adoption and mission trip projects and fundraisers.  This new tool will help YOU spread the word to other bloggers that want to help make a difference in the life of an orphan.  All you need to do is leave your “permalink” with an eye catching title for your projects every Saturday- open to share for 48 hrs. What this means … you have two days to add your link with the Inlinkz tool, but readers can click on your images [here] to view for months to come.

My Crazy Adoption Blog receives over 10,000 monthly readers.  The new InLinkz tool will help bring readers to your site, but it won’t work unless you share!