Dressing a Toddler

Round 1

1. Pick up toddler (all 30lbs) take into their room
2. Set down toddler (too heavy) to pick out their clothes
3. Turn around to see toddler running out of the room

Toddler – 1 and Parent – 0

Round 2

• 1. Pick up toddler and  discuss that they need to stay in their room
  2. Close door (lesson learned from Round 1)
  3. Put down toddler to gather up the clothes
  4. Grab toddler from a mid-run around the room
  5. Holding sleeves pull shirt over head as toddler twirls around blindly.
  6. Pull pants down as toddler runs off, tripping, because toddler’s feet are still in the legs.
  7. Pajamas off (Parent – 1)
  8. Grab diaper as toddler scrambles away
  9. Watch in horror as naked toddler runs away to squat in the corner for a pee

Toddler – 2 and Parent – 1
Round 3

• 1. Put diaper on toddler
  2. Run out of the room to get something to clean the carpet
  3. Return to a toddler somewhere hidden in a pile of clothes (that you don’t remember taking out)
  4. Put toddler in crib (lesson learned again)
  5. Clean up clothes
  6. Clean carpet
  7. Return to dress toddler

Toddler – 3 and Parent – 1
Round 4 (Final round)

• 1. Take toddler from bed
  2. Wrestle screaming, wiggling toddler to the floor, sit on them (another lesson learned)
  3. Put pants on kicking toddler legs
  4. Scream in pain, as you take a blow to the eye
  5. Partially blinded, pull toddler to standing. While holding toddler in a bear hug, put shirt over head
  6. Don’t pull arms through until almost finished (avoiding another blow)
  7. Reach hand down the arm of the smallest sleeve in history, pull toddler hand through
  8. Reach down second sleeve, avoiding pinches from the now free hand, to pull other hand
  9. Realizing that you haven’t finished pulling the toddler’s head through, watch as toddler now wanders around the room bumping into things (Parent – 1)
  10. Chase down blindly running toddler to finish the job
  11. Realize that the shirt is on inside-out, pants are on backwards and you can’t find shoes
  12. Tumble to heap on the floor, nursing your black eye
  13. Toddler runs over to snuggle up and fall asleep with you on the floor

Final Score – Toddler – 3 and Parent – 2 (plus 1 for bonus in final round)
Elapsed time 3 hours , 15 minutes – Missed doctor appointment by 2 hours – Parent still in pajamas

By Shannon Henrici, writes for a new online baby clothes boutique.  She is also a mother of a 19 month old little girl.  My Baby Clothes Boutique carries a variety of the highest quality baby headbands, baby hats, and baby clothes for every unique baby.