Snow Days

It’s a blizzard across the entire mid-west including our city and our 18-year old son wants to go “hang” with his friends.  I understand … I really do.  I remember being 18, having a snow day and wanting to do anything but stay at home!  That’s the paradox of a day out of school.  You don’t want to be in class studying but you also don’t want to be away from friends.  My husband informs Kyle that he isn’t going anywhere; that there’s at least an inch of ice under 6 inches of snow, schools are closed, businesses are closed, and the news informs the city to stay off the highways unless “absolutely necessary.”  Is it absolutely necessary to go hang with friends?  Hummmm, I don’t think so.  Again, I understand my son, but I’m a mom and it’s our responsibility as his parents to make wise decisions to protect his safety while he lives in this home … right?

Quite possibly the main reason I so identify with my son is because I tend to be a lot like him – or is it the other way around!  Kyle and I are all about the fun … relationships, laughing, socializing, and communicating with others.  And we tend to push the envelope a bit when it comes to following rules.  My husband is always early (unless my hair isn’t just right!), he drives the speed limit, and he colors within the lines!  He balances me … or I guess we balance each other.

In my own life, I find myself forging ahead all too often making decisions based on my feelings, my emotions, my own will.  Psalm 147:10-11 tells us that the Lord delights in us when we put our trust in Him … “His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”  Much like Don and I want to provide a safety net for our kids, God provides that safety net for us when we CHOOSE to listen to His voice … heed his guidance.  There are countless times I have sensed His voice during a quiet time, walking away with such a peace only to later be tempted by circumstances, anxiety, or other voices.  It is these times when I recognize that my flesh wants to take over the control I earlier relinquished to my Father.  Don and I want our son to lean on the love and leadership of Christ in all his decisions.  But it might have taken a few snow days for me to realize that like my son I often allow my flesh and my selfish will to dictate and control my life.

I would love to hear from you!  How have your kids taught you things about trusting God or revealed things about your own spiritual journey?

On this journey with you,
Kit

A Creeping Enemy

Why is it so easy to allow the enemy to creep in to areas of weakness in our lives and camp out?  I recognize where he has taken up residency in my fragile parts and my dear friend shared this morning where he has taken up residency in hers.  What causes this in our lives?  Is it laziness, weariness, stress, lack of discipline, lack of focus?  For me, I think it’s probably a little bit of all of these things and that doesn’t make me proud!  As I look back over my journals I see entry after entry of God’s goodness and provision in my life.  I read of a woman bound and determined to stay the course, keeping eyes focused on Him … so what brings that same woman to such a halt allowing the enemy to wreck havoc on my heart?

Those questions could probably produce a theological dissertation so I won’t venture that direction here, but what I do know and I want to share is the beauty and glory of saturating myself with His word and what a difference that makes!  Several weeks ago I spent some time looking for a verse my 26-year-old daughter was looking for.  In my pursuit I came across verse after verse that blessed my weary soul.  I like to personal scripture and here are just a few that spoke to me:

Psalms 121 tells me that “The Lord watches over me, the Lord is my shade at my right hand; … He will watch over my life; the Lord will watch over my coming and going both now and forevermore.”  Psalm 139 says that He will hem me in … behind and before.  He has laid His hand upon me and such knowledge is too wonderful!  And Philippians 1:6 says that I can be confident that “He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

We know that this life will bring trials; the Lord was clear on that point.  He also understands temptation, insecurity, disillusionment, and disappointment.  Jeremiah 29:11 makes it clear that He has a plan and a purpose for our lives even in the midst of temptations, insecurities, and disappointments.  But one verse that blesses me beyond words is the next verse, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I WILL LISTEN TO YOU.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you!”  Can you imagine … can you wrap your heart around that!?  We can find Him; He’s not hiding from us.  We can’t disappoint Him.  That is one of the most beautiful truths I know here on this earth!

What draws you back into the Father’s fold when you sometimes feel a little disconnected?  I would love to hear from you.

Be encouraged today my dear friends!

Defining Beauty

Webster defines beauty as, “qualities that give pleasure to the senses or exalt the mind.”  If someone were to ask you to name a “beautiful” woman – given the world’s standards of beauty – it would be a simple task.  We can all think of women who by society’s definition would be deemed as beautiful.  Every magazine, billboard, and commercial bombards our senses with images of beautiful women on a daily basis.  Like many women, I wrestle with insecurities in the area of appearance, body image, and just measuring up.

But many years ago – as a young Christian woman, I became drawn to the life and suffering of Corrie ten Boom and my perception of beauty began to change.  Now I am not suggesting that Corrie ten Boom WAS NOT a beautiful woman by appearance standards – I am simply trying to differentiate between our worldly perceptions of beauty and inner beauty – so I hope you can hear my heart and follow my message here!

Most of you probably know the story of Corrie ten Boom and her family.  Corrie is the author of many books, the most recognized being, The Hiding Place; depicting the ten Boom family’s suffering at the hands of Nazi Germany and their years in the Nazi prison camps.  Corrie’s father and sister both perished in the death camps, but by some miracle, Corrie survived.  Her remaining years on this earth were spent sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ – His love, mercy, grace, compassion, and yes … His message of forgiveness.

I recently was reading in her devotional, Not I, But Christ, and was so encouraged by her words.  She shared that she accepted the Lord Jesus when she was five years old and that, “He has never left me alone.”  She suggested that there are many battles to be fought before peace will come, but that we are not alone in any of these battles.  I love the truth of what she reveals when she shares that the Holy Spirit is ever present and that Jesus is our secret weapon.  I’m not sure that … actually, I KNOW that I do not live each day as if my Lord were my secret weapon in all of my battles!  Too often, I face them alone – running stubbornly right into the midst of them.  But Corrie further explains that it is in surrender that peace comes:  “God cleanses what He takes; He empties what He cleanses; He fills what He empties; and He uses what He fills.  This is the showing forth of Jesus Christ, dwelling in us.”

That completely rocks and challenges my view of beauty!  I want to be a woman who lives in surrender to the Lord’s purposes for my life – I have not arrived.  My journey is just that … a journey every day – each day a process.  Corrie has since gone to eternity with the Lord, but what I saw when I looked at Corrie ten Boom and when I read her words was beauty in its purest form.  The beauty of Christ radiating from her eyes, her smile, her confidence, her compassion, and her incredible desire to encourage others.  And I am inspired by the beauty of her words as they impact millions of hungry souls around the world still today.

Psalm 27:4 says, “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.”  His promise to those who seek Him, to those who make Him their home, is that “he will keep me safe in His dwelling: He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.”  Our heads will be raised high above the enemies who seek to destroy us.  And our home, our dwelling will be in the safety of His shelter.  That’s a pretty beautiful thing to ponder.

I would love to hear from you – how has the Lord impacted your life in the area of beauty?  Is there a person who has spoken truth into your life or modeled beauty to you?

Walking this journey with you,
Kit

I wanted to personally introduce my new guest blogger, Kit who is one of my dearest friends (in real life).  She is a survivor on so many levels and I’m really excited about her new monthly series, Inner Beauty.  Kit’s articles will focus on healing and forgiveness through the pain of loss, abuse, anxiety, stress, eating disorders and overcoming fear.  My friend is not a professional counselor, but she is a wife, adoptive mom, and friend who wants to boldly talk about subjects that can hinder our Inner Beauty.  Kit would love to hear your comments and will respond right here on my blog.

Guest Blogger

By the time I was 6 years old, I was one of millions of young girls who would fall victim to the hideousness of sexual abuse.  As a victim of any form of sexual abuse, it is natural to want revenge.  We want someone to pay for the robbery committed to our bodies – to our souls.  When justice is not served – that energy, that focus on the pain turns to seething anger.  I’ve walked that road.  Anger turned inward became a frightening journey that took years for me to escape.  My struggle with an eating disorder was a symptom of the much deeper pain of sexual abuse.  It was a silent, agonizing scream that I couldn’t seem to release.  Confusion, insecurity, worthlessness, and shame were the cloaks I wore and they weighed heavy on my shoulders.

For much of my life – I felt the suffocating affects of my abuse in the form of gripping fear — fear of losing a parent, fear of my car flying off the side of a cliff, or fear of being buried in an earthquake.  Anxiety about simple things like walking into a crowded gymnasium, anxiety about my appearance, or the anxiety in trying to please others has consumed my life.  I have trusted very few people and this only worsened once I was married and began a family of my own.   My children were barely allowed out of my sight.  Our oldest daughter didn’t attend summer camp until she was in junior high school!  I was terrified something dark would happen to her.

This fear and panic confused me as a young girl and pushed me further into the clutches of an eating disorder as a teen and young adult.  The horror that was locked inside my soul could not be expressed in words.  Lies and betrayal were paramount to the fear of trusting adults and this upheaval felt like an emotional cistern – threatening to burst and take me under for good.  The coping tools I used as a young girl and young teen provided a sense of security and self protection, however, they enabled me to cope without facing the bigger issues in my life.  An eating disorder allows emotions to be expressed – indirectly, though, and without resolution.

At 52 years old now, I am a woman who has walked a road you may be walking.  Perhaps you think no one has ever felt or struggled as deeply as you have inside.  I know that feeling!  As a recovering victim of sexual abuse, my journey toward healing and wholeness has become a priority in my life.  I worked hard to find the right therapy, rehabilitation centers, and other resources that would allow God to become my foundation for healing – that allowed Him to become my coping tool.  He is unshakable.  Nothing we bring to Him is too much for Him to handle.  In Matthew 11:27-29 he promises, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  The enemy may continue to try to shake your world and shove you into a pit – but the Lord, our God, is truly unshakable and unsinkable.  Don’t allow Satan to rob you any longer of the desire and fortitude to continue this journey called recovery.  There is no pit so low that His arm cannot reach you there.  I promise you – sweet freedom awaits you on the other side!

“But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits herself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.  Break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out.”  Ps. 10:14-15

Your sister on this journey,

Kit

You can leave Kit a comment or email her privately. She will continue her Inner Beauty Series monthly here at My Crazy Adoption.