When Kari asked for readers to post crazy stories for her blog I knew our adoption story fit right in. I’m sure there are many people in this world who would consider me crazy. And probably just as many would consider my husband crazy for believing in me. But, I don’t think we’re crazy, I think we have FAITH.
You see God talks to me. Doesn’t that sound crazy? You can’t go around shouting that or you’re likely to be put in a straight jacket. Maybe I should rephrase that statement. The Holy Spirit has whispered to me in the past. Is that better? Maybe? It has only happened a couple times, but each time was very powerful.
My husband and I have four biological children and live in a small town of 20,000 people where international adoption is an odd occurrence. We don’t have a lot of money or an excessive amount of patience or time to spare. But, when God asks you to step out on a limb and your faith in Him is strong, you do it.
Between June of 2006 and July of 2007 I was having a very hard time deciding if adoption was something I wanted for myself or was something God had put on my heart. I didn’t see how it could work out if it was all me. I knew that we needed guidance and support if this adoption idea was to be a success. We had a small 1,200 square foot house, four children and didn’t have the $20,000+ that it would take to adopt. I saw no way to make it work, but I knew that if it were a God thing, I didn’t need to worry, He could handle all of it.
In August of 2008 I was on a church retreat weekend and praying unceasingly for guidance. The Christian band Third Day had just released a new album called Revelation. The title track became my mantra over the weekend, “give me revelation, show me what to do, I’ve been trying to find my way, but I haven’t got a clue.” I prayed for God to directly show me or tell me. I’m not so good at the subtle.
On Sunday afternoon during a talk about perseverance, I prayed again, this time because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. “Dear God, if this topic of perseverance is relevant to me please let me understand.” Almost immediately I heard “Find her.” It was a calm voice near my right shoulder. I knew exactly what He meant, you’re missing a daughter, go find her. My response was less than faithful. “No, you don’t mean that, how can I possibly? We don’t have the money. I don’t have the patience or ability to mother five children.” I had all of these thoughts in a flash, and then I heard it again “Find her.” This time the voice was not as calm, He was almost scolding me. I was quickly reminded that all things are possible through him.
A lot has happened since that day. Our adoption journey has been a long one, longer than average I believe. But, it’s all in God’s time. We are only now to the point of completing our home study. God has shown us that it will all work out, that he has the answers to all the “problems” I see. I’m not saying we don’t have questions and doubts, I believe that’s a part of human nature. But, piece by piece with Faith our adoption puzzle is coming together.
The above family photo was taken by Liz Foley Photography in Northwestern Illinois and I expect will be the first image our daughter sees of her new family.
The bracelet in the second photo is one I wear almost every day, if you look closely you can see five names, our four bio kids and the name we’ve chosen for our daughter we’ve yet to find.