“How did you pick me, mom?” Zoie asked with five year old boldness and determination. This was a week of big questions for our family, and some of my favorite bloggers are also tackling the big questions about adoption. I was challenged reading Jen Hatmaker’s post and this excellent post here about supporting adoptive moms domestically. If we don’t talk about the diverse topics of adoption, we can’t grow in understanding.
What are some blogs you recommend that shares great adoption advice?
This question was a big one (we were driving to the orphanage) and I looked at hubby for reassurance. I don’t want to mess this one up! I took a deep breath and dived right in, “Zoie, you have asked mommy and daddy so many great questions about your adoption, but this one is my favorite so far!” She smiled proudly from the back of the truck.
I’m sure there are many great (better) responses to this question from the hundreds of adoptive parent’s I’ve met over the years blogging, so please know I’m not an expert, but this is what I shared with our daughter.
“Zoie, we didn’t pick you, God CHOSE you for our family!”
“But, why didn’t God pick another baby and picked me?” Daddy and I validated her question and shared that God planned our family and brought us together in Ethiopia. I explained that God chose our family for you! God loves adoption and He adopted all of us when we asked Jesus in our hearts. (Zoie became a follower of Jesus in March) We are all adopted by God. I shared there were many children living in the orphanage, and God chose a forever family for each child. We are so happy God chose you for our family, you were the perfect choice and we love you just the way you are. Gulp. Breathe. I continue to pray that God speaks through me when Zoie asks the big questions about her adoption. I have to trust Him to make the big difference in her heart. He cares about our daughter, our family, and the heart of adoption. God is the ultimate adoption-hearted rescuer for all sides involved! “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that’s what I had in mind for you.” (Jeremiah 1:5 MSG)
The conversation lasted a few more minutes longer, but she seemed happy and satisfied with our answers. It’s a question, I’m sure we will have to address again … “why did you pick me?” and the answer will always stay the same … God CHOSE you for our family! I’m incredibly grateful for my personal relationship with the Savior to help guide me through my own big question, “God, why did you chose me?” Because, He loved me. “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to.” (1 John 3:1 MSG)
I’d love to hear how you would have answered this question and what advice can you share.
What are some great adoption books you can recommend that talk about this subject with adopted children of all ages?