When People Don’t Agree

Categorized | Adoption

Posted on 07 August 2010 by Kari Gibson

When people don’t agree.

As a fund raising family there are definite up’s and down’s in this process. It’s important to have people in your corner. Really important to have at least one person that is there to walk this journey out with you through those up’s and down’s. You will run into all sorts of people and their comments during this process. People who support you 100%, all of the time both in word and action. People who say how “saint like” you are, people who keep up with you but don’t say a word about your adoption leaving you wondering where exactly they stand on that whole thing anyways. Still others who make comments that make you cringe, and others who love you no matter what and can’t wait to help welcome your child home.

Adoption is one of the CRAZIEST adventures I’ve ever been on. It’s CRAZY out there to raise $30,000 in a short period of time. But it’s even CRAZIER to do nothing at all!

Check out a few reasons why WE are CRAZY about adoption and CRAZY about being a fund raising family.

A few facts about our fund raising and maybe some of this will resonate with you as well.

1. We are not “requiring” that anyone participate in financially supporting our adoption. We have asked for support which let me tell you is NOT comfortable for us. The Lord has worked on us in that area and it has taken a lot to even get to the place where we are open about our financial need in order to pay the ransom to bring our daughter home. A humbling spot to be for sure.

2. In our hearts it is an honor and a privilege to help other families who are also raising a ransom to bring their child/children home. We KNOW what the cost is to adopt, because of that we LOVE to help in any way possible to share that burden with other families. With that in mind we don’t want anyone to feel “obligated” to give to our adoption. However we know MANY of you WANT to share this financial burden with us and have shared that you LOVE being apart of our story and for that we are grateful. Let me say again we DO NOT want anyone to feel like they HAVE to participate in this with us. God WILL provide in His perfect timing. This is NOT about us. This is about what God has laid on our hearts, about children that need families, and about a willingness to make an orphan our daughter. That’s it.

3. If you are questioning if we are contributing to our own adoption PLEASE let me set your mind at ease. YES. ABSOLUTELY 100% YES! We have cut SEVERAL things in order to save money so we can invest in the life of our daughter so that we can help pay her ransom. We will be investing spiritually, emotionally, and financially in the life of our daughter for the rest of our days here on this earth. So please don’t think that just because we are fund raising that it means we’re not sacrificing. We absolutely are. We are honored to do it.

I want to raise awareness on being a fund raising family and why we feel so blessed that God has not only called us to adopt but called us to RAISE A RANSOM for our daughter. Being a fund raising family is a vulnerable place to be. We have opened ourselves up for criticism by sharing our need, our story, and we’ve gotten it. We’ve invited others to be a part of what God is doing in our family and so many of you have graciously embraced that and shared in this financial burden with us. We are so blessed to be on this journey, so humbled that God has called us to this.

Just as much grace has been given to us we will return that grace to others and pray that eyes would be opened to the beauty of being a fund raising family. I honestly don’t know if I’d want it any other way. Having the support we have experienced through this process is not something we take for granted. Because of HIS Crazy Love for Us! To God Be The Glory!

If you are a fundraising family please comment on this blog post with your blog link so I can come visit your blog and encourage you along this crazy adoption road! I’d love to read about what God is doing in your lives through adoption!

–
Erica
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

http://www.our-story-of-faith-and-grace.blogspot.com Pam

Thank you for this post!!!! What you wrote is EXACTLY what my husband and I feel and are going through right now!!!! There have been so many different emotions that we have gone through and so many different responses that we have gotten from our fund-raisers, and I wish that I had the wisdom of your words to share with others!!!! Thank You!!!!!!
http://www.loveisnotacolor.com KimJewett

Well said Erica! It is complete honor and privilege to fundraise and sacrifice to not only bring our little girl home, but to be a part of showing others it can be done. To steward this journey is not something I would wish away by being able to strike a check for the whole process. To walk through it, to struggle at many points and to see the finish line in sight is process that has moved to the beat of God's heart…even when I hearing my own cries over it.
http://brickerfamilyblog.blogspot.com jessica B

Thanks for this! We are adopting from Ethiopia and its hard to put yourself out there and tell people of your need! It goes against the American spirit of "do it yourself and don't take any charity" but I know it will be so totally worth all the humility it takes to bring our baby home.
http://allee-fam.blogspot.com Susan Allee

Thanks for the post. It is encouraging to know others have and are experiencing the same thing. I recenty read Radical by David Patt and his book has helped us sacrifice even more of ourselves and to realize the American dream is not what we should be about. But as you said even after removing al extra there is need for more. We are currently fundraising and are praying e come up with our next payment soon. Here is to praying that all our ransomed ones are safe in our arms soon. Thanks.
Susan
allee-fam.blogspot.com
http://allee-fam.blogspot.com Susan Allee

Thanks for the post. It is encouraging to know others have and are experiencing the same thing. I recenty read Radical by David Patt and his book has helped us sacrifice even more of ourselves and to realize the American dream is not what we should be about. But as you said even after removing al extra there is need for more. We are currently fundraising and are praying e come up with our next payment soon. Here is to praying that all our ransomed ones are safe in our arms soon. Thanks.
allee-fam.blogspot.com
http://www.lovewithabandon.com Rachel

Wow. You weren't kidding…you really did just talk about this! I love it. I have a half written fundraising post as well–it's just a shame that so many get discouraged about doing it! So thankful to see others encouraged by your example because you have walked it out in a way that others can watch: always humble gracious, sacrificing of yourself–but armed up and ready to fight with your all until you bring home your baby. We certainly wouldn't be where we are as a fundraising family had I not had you in my life. Grateful—keep encouraging through the disagreement!
Jenn Bachman

We are waiting for our refferal from ET. We are in the process of trying to raise funds and it is hard. We have had people who are willing to give and others who have told us that we decided to do this so we whould be able to take care of it ourselves. Your blog post is wonderful and should be a must read for everyone who is adopting or knows someone who is adopting. Keep encouraging!!!
http://nihaocowboy.blogspot.com Chris

We've had two different experiences, the first was primarily totally funded on our own through savings, investments, etc…

The second one however, we had to lay bare all of our needs for anyone that would listen, albeit we waited until what I now consider too late in the ball game. Thankfully God did some amazing things the weeks leading up to our travel date.

Jessica B is correct in that it hits at our pride and our sense of self sufficiency when we ask for assistance. But you know, we have a pretty good model to follow when Jesus told the disciples in Mark 6:7-11 to take no provisions with them.

Anyone going down this path should take heart in his statement to them in verse 11, "And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them."

If you are doing what God has lead you to do, it simply doesn't matter if others don't get it.
http://minus1project.blogspot.com Kelly

Erica, We are a fundraising family and have had some very highs and lows! I would love, with your permission to repost some of your points. I really like that you call it a ransom for your daughter. It is a very humbling experience. We were able to pay for our first adoption with some inheritance money, but are entering this adoption without that cushion. I am excited to watch God provide…He led us to start our Minus 1 Project that we pray will help others with fundraising ideas and allow us to donate to other families long after our adoption is final. Thanks for the truthful and encouraging words!! We will continue to run the race…
http://the-brown-brigade.blogspot.com/ Audrey

What a great post. This is a real encouragement to me. We have not yet done any fund raising. The only thing I am comfortable with right now is asking friends and family to donate unused items for a yard sale. Our first adoption will be through a ministry and is going to be considerably less expensive than normal. However, we plan to adopt again from Ethiopia will be a whole different ball game. We are praying about how we could ask people to help in our journey.
http://theweimerclan.blogspot.com Erin

Thank you so much for saying what we are living. We felt called by God to adopt and He has provided many people to come along side us and provide. We also are supporting our adoption financially but it is such a blessing to have people help us. Keep up the good work and may God bless all of your efforts. We just made our first trip to Africa and met our son a couple of weeks ago, we are now waiting to hear of an embassy appt. Praying that we hear any day now!
http://itstheroadlesstravelled.com Erica

I'm so thankful to each of you who have posted comments, I'm excited to read each of your blogs and see how I can encourage you and participate in some of your adoptions. We serve a mighty God and I am honored to be on this journey with you. Anything posted here or on my blog is free to use as long as you link back to me out of courtesy. Blessings to all of you!
http://www.funds4faith.com Leda Perry

We're fundraising for our 9 year old daughter waiting in China. Please stop by and visit!
http://www.adamandamberstutzman.blogspot.com Amber

Great post-we can SO relate! We are about to go for our 1st court date in Nov. and can't wait to get our baby girl home from Ethiopia-we have been fundraising for months and it is amazing but often not fun-hate asking! Thanks for your honesty!