We’re often told that God has has a reason for allowing bad things to happen. It’s usually little comfort when trudging through seemingly awful circumstances. But it’s the hope and trust in what God is doing that carries us through, especially knowing we would never otherwise make it on our own strength.

But every once in a while, God shows us those reasons, and it is such a gift that it makes it impossible not to share with everyone.

It will be five years ago this December when we were expecting the birth of our firstborn, a little boy whom we decided to name Logan. His due date was December 10th. A Christmas baby.

Logan, however, had different plans. I was induced and delivered him on September 16th, a day after a middle-of-the-night rush to Labour and Delivery revealed that Logan had died in utero.

We held him, we prayed over him, and with tear-stained faces, handed him back to God.

We had just had our baby shower. We knew it was traditionally a few weeks early, but we wanted to have it over a three-day-weekend so that more out-of-town guests could come. While in the hospital my husband privately coordinated with friends and family to have all of our gifts removed from our apartment before we returned home.

Three days after coming back to an empty house I was admitted to the hospital with a heart rate of 32 beats per minute. To shorten a rather lengthy story, odds were really good that if I had carried my pregnancy to term my heart would not have made it. At that point it became glaringly obvious  why God had me deliver when I did. Although we could not understand why we lost our little boy, we were at least comforted with the knowledge that it was necessary for him to arrive early in order to save my life.

And so life went on. Our original plan was to have one birth child and adopt the rest. We had our birth child, for the little time that he was here with us. On the anniversary of his stillbirth, we were introduced to a woman who had foster-adopted through a local agency and were given their contact information. We were ready to move forward.

In fact, our living situation further encouraged growing our family. We had the opportunity to move from our one-bedroom apartment into the only two-bedroom unit in our building by the beach, graciously offered to us by the building’s owner. We moved, cleaned, and painted, leaving the spare room empty, a physical reminder of the hole in our family that we were seeking to fill.

My husband and I attended our foster-adoption orientation on October 6th. There we learned a number of things: Healthy, newborn babies were rare, so don’t expect one. The younger the child you want, the longer you will wait especially if you want a girl. And don’t expect a “Christmas baby.” For some reason the adoption agency gets a high rate of parents starting the adoption process right before Christmas, expecting their child to be home before the holiday. Interesting. All good things to know.

As much as we would have wanted a newborn, our hearts were open to whatever God had planned for us, so we embarked on our paperwork journey believing that we would probably end up with a sibling set of toddler (or older) boys.

For those who know me, it is no surprise that I finished our entire adoption packet in three weeks. I’m a paperwork junkie, and if there is one thing that I do well, it’s details. Besides, I had it in my head that the faster that I got my part in the adoption process completed, the faster that God could do His work in bringing our child (or children) home.

By mid-November (a month into the adoption process) our social worker finished our home visit for the homestudy, and I was left with nothing to do but wait for her to write it up and start the search process.

When pregnant mothers unpack their baby shower gifts, decorating and preparing the nursery for their babies, it’s called “nesting.” When a woman who just started the adoption process starts pulling out the gifts she received from the baby shower of her stillborn child, it’s called “crazy.”  But I just had it on my heart to put the crib together, to pull out the blankets and bottles and clothes. To have everything washed and to finally start filling that empty room. I’m not a very patient person so I needed to be doing something to help with the adoption process. And that was that was all I had at the time.

Our social worker was still working on writing up our homestudy, so we received calls from her from time to time asking for clarification of this or that. So it wasn’t a huge shock to have her call me early in December (2 months into the adoption process) while I was putting the final touches on our “spare room.” Before answering her call I remember looking around and thinking it finally felt like it could be a home for someone.

What was shocking about the call was that our social worker relayed that a healthy, negative-tox, newborn baby girl was relinquished at the hospital and she wanted to ask if we were interested in adopting her!

A relinquishment is when a birthmother did not make an adoption plan and relinquishes the baby at the hospital. Rarely are healthy babies reqlinquished nowadays, and even more rarely was our adoption agency the one that was called in such instances. As such, we were informed that time was of the essence, so we needed to make a decision fast.

My head was spinning. I had just finished putting away the baby clothes in the dresser of the spare room. The baby clothes that would have never have fit a toddler. I called my husband, who was teaching, so that we could quickly discuss the situation. Up until this call we had had our minds wrapped around having toddler boys. However, we were totally open to what God had planned for us. We decided to let our social worker know that we were interested in learning more and wanted to know how we should proceed. I hung up with my husband and was ready to call our social worker back.

And then it occurred to me. It was December 10th. One year, to the day, of our son’s original due date. And I wept. From that moment forward I knew in my heart that this was the plan that God had for us all along. This is why we had our baby shower early; we were going to need those baby things, just not when we thought we were going to. This was why I rushed to get the paperwork completed so quickly. This was why I was putting together a crib and washing baby clothes when everyone around me was rolling their eyes and shaking their heads. It wasn’t just a child that God had planned for us. It was this child, and everything needed to happen exactly when it did in order for us to receive her.

We had to submit our homestudy for her, along with several other hopeful parents. And our social worker had to pull an all-nighter just to write ours up to be considered. It took three days before we heard that we were chosen to be her forever family.  When we asked what we were supposed to do next, she said “Come pick her up.”

And that was the day we met our daughter. She was six days old, healthy, and beautiful. Although she was African American, she had a full head face of freckles. I have freckles, myself, and I loved the fact that she did too.  Although they have long since faded, I like to think that God placed those freckles on her for the sole purpose of allowing me something about her to which I could immediately bond.

Her birthmother had 2 weeks to change her mind. Those two weeks ended on Christmas Eve. When we awoke Christmas morning we knew for certain she was here to stay. On the very day that God’s son was born, so was our family.

Sometimes God gives a reason for why bad things happen. By walking in faith and obedience, when one child was taken away, another was given. If Logan were to have lived, we most certainly would have adopted. We just wouldn’t have adopted this little girl. And this little girl was so clearly the one whom the Lord wanted for us to have.

We called her Zoe, which means “alive,” not so much for the fact that she was the living of the two children with whom the Lord blessed us, but because without the hope that lived within us during this whole experience we never would have known her.

Man Up & Protect.  My hubby’s story….

I’m with my two daughters picking up a few items at my least favorite store in the world to be at on a Saturday afternoon … Walmart Supercenter.  After spending time in the toy section with Zoie and then wondering over to the make up section to pick up a few items for Hannah, we finally make our way to the check out line.  Before I proceed any further, I need to share that we live in the Ozarks and whenever you make a trip to our local Walmart you just might see … real Hillbillies. Yes, I’m serious. I’m talking … overalls, sleeveless t-shirt, John Deere ball cap, missing a few front teeth, and a big Rebel flag tattoo on their bicep for everyone to see.

On this particular day, we just happened to get behind a particular big “hillbilly” as I described above at the check out line. I don’t know why I picked this line, but I did (It was probably the shortest). Anyways, whenever you go out with Zoie she is guaranteed to make a lot of noise and the case here was no different.  As Zoie was begging for her favorite candy – M&M’s, I noticed the man turned around and eyeballed back and forth between me and Zo as she was shouting “pretty, pretty please daddy. “  I could sense his brain trying to figure out the connection.  I’m sure I read more into it than what it really was, but in an instant, I felt a sudden rush of adrenaline kick in and I was in protective mode. Thankfully, nothing bizarre happened and life continued on peacefully.

Unfortunately, there are millions (YES! Millions!) of orphans without a Christ-centered Man Up kind of a dude in their lives. A man who will love BIG to guard their hearts, minds, and bodies from the kind of pain that takes advantage of their innocence or leave a child malnourished. I still think about the first six months of Zoie’s life when I was not there for her. I wonder if she ever had to endure the hardship of living on the streets like the baby twins that we met at Korah in Ethiopia, whose mother was so malnourished that she couldn’t produce enough milk for them to eat. What about that 14 year old girl in Moldova who just recently left her orphanage with dreams only to have a predator rob her of her freedom by turning her into a sex slave. What about the boy in Uganda who had to watch his father be murdered and his mother be beaten, raped repeatedly, and left to die.

There is a very special picture of Zoie I have that was taken in an orphanage of her before I even met her.  In the picture, there is a teenage boy holding Zoie.  I don’t even know his name, but I can see in the picture as he is looking down at Zoie with a playful laugh and Zoie with her big chocolate brown eyes looking straight up in his eyes with a smile from ear to ear.  As an adoptive dad, I treasure to know that my girl was being loved on by a man that I didn’t even know before I even met my daughter.  The loving touch of a man is huge for babies, children, and teenagers, but it all starts with us (men) creating a safe place for kids.  I love hearing about the men here in the States and overseas who are Manning Up to build and create a home of safety and food for orphans. I created the Man Up trip with Visiting Orphans for the sole purpose of men coming together to LOVE BIG on orphans., but prayerfully I’m hoping that God moves hearts of men to want to invest, wherever in this world, in the real lives of orphans to have a safe place to live , nourishment, clean water, and most importantly a man who will teach them to Go BIG & LOVE BIG by his example.   Thanks- Roger

2 Week Man Up Blitz

Purchase a new Man Up tee shirt (2 styles and 4 colors) and help us raise funds for Korah (where Zoie was born) Home Make-overs and projects the team will do in Uganda.  Click on the Store button- top right side.  Allow 2 weeks after purchase for shipping.  We only buy what we sell to save every penny for missions.  You can also make a monetary donation directly to Visiting Orphans designated to the “Man Up July 31-Aug. 14th” mission trip.

NEW MAN UP MISSION TRIP 2012

July 14- 28th 2012- Apply Now Visiting Orphans!!  The trip is filling up fast, so don’t miss out to Simply Love orphans in Ethiopia and Uganda!!!

On Orphan Sunday, Christians stand for the orphan . We are a people called to defend the fatherless…to care for the child that has no family…to visit orphans in their distress.  Orphan Sunday is hundreds of events across America and beyond, all sharing a single goal: that God’s great love for the orphan will find echo in our lives as well.  Every person can get involved.  Events can be whatever the Lord calls you to do.  Some events in the past have included sermons, small groups, concerts, prayer gatherings, etc.—each rousing believers with God’s call to care for the orphan…and what we can do in response.  Orphan Sunday is your opportunity to rouse church, community and friends to God’s call to care for the orphan.

The seeds of this united Orphan Sunday come especially as a gift from the Church in Africa. While attending a church service in Zambia, an American visitor was struck by the pastor’s passionate call to care for orphans in the local community, which had been ravaged by AIDS and poverty. Members of the church faced deep need themselves. But as the service ended, one after another stepped forward with money, food and other goods-some even taking off their own shoes and placing them in the offering for orphans.  The visitor, Gary Schneider, was so impacted that he began to help Zambian leaders coordinate Orphan Sunday efforts across Zambia. These efforts spread to the U.S. in 2003 with help from Every Orphan’s Hope and other organizations.  The Christian Alliance for Orphans honors the church in Zambia for the gift of Orphan Sunday. We pray the Church in America may be as faithful to reflect God’s heart for the orphan, both near and far.

I am blessed to get to be part of this crazy blog while Kari is in Uganda.  We are one of those families that God has chosen and blessed to grow by adoption.  Our family is currently a family of four and is growing to become a family of six.  We have one homemade daughter, a son adopted from Russia, and are adopting twin girls from Uganda.  While in the adoption process we decided to everything we could do to adopt debt free.

Our family began to find ways to cut cost on household items.  One of the first things we started to do was make our own laundry detergent.  It takes roughly 30 minutes and the savings are great.
Most of you might think this is crazy and that’s okay.  I hope your opinion of that changes when you see the savings a family can have.  The average cost for one load of laundry detergent by leading brands is $0.40 to $0.50 a load.  The average family household does 400 loads a year.  That is a cost between $160 and $200 a year.  The recipe I use makes enough laundry detergent for 680 loads in a front loading washer.  It will last us approximately 18 months.  The best part about this detergent is that one batch of 680 loads cost a whole $2.00.  Most families spend around $240 to $300 for 18 months of laundry detergent; my family spends $2.00.  Store bought laundry detergent is mostly water so why pay so much for it.
I know you must be thinking does it really work?  Is that possible?  Yes, it does.  I hope most of my close family friends will vouch for me on this but we don’t smell and our clothes our clean.  It doesn’t take a degree in chemistry to make.  I bet if you can make jello you can make your own laundry detergent.

You will need a large 5 gallon bucket to make it in and store.  You will need a dispenser, I have a laundry detergent bottle from a leading brand that has a spout on it.  I keep this full in my laundry room for easy access.
The ingredients are:   1 bar of soap (preferably one without dyes or perfumes; I use Ivory)
1 cup of Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda (don’t use any type of substitute, I find this at Kroger)
1/2 cup of Borax
You are going to grate the bar of soap.  I have been very successful using the grating plate on my food processor for this. Add this to a medium size sauce pan filled with water on medium heat, stirring continuously until all the soap is dissolved.  Fill the 5 gallon bucket approximately half full with hot tap water.  Add the melted soap, washing soda, and borax.  Stir until it is all dissolved.  Then fill the bucket to the top with more hot tap water.  Let this sit undisturbed for 24 hours.  During this time the process of saponification will occur; the process of soap making.  The mixture will turn into a slimy gel.  If you would like you can add essential oils to scent the detergent at this point, I use a scented fabric softener added to my washing machine.   Fill the dispenser in your laundry room with half water and half laundry soap. When you get ready to use the soap you will need to give it a good stir or shake before each use.  For front loading washers use 1/4 cup.  For top loading machines use 5/8 a cup.
Please follow our family on our adoption journey to learn other ways we have learned to save money in order to fund our adoptions.

www.stewartsadoption.blogspot.com

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching, I thought the time was right to reflect on the perfect nature of our living God.  Last year for Mother’s Day, I celebrated with my husband and two wonderful boys.  Actually, my wonderful husband took care of our boisterous boys so that mama could have a few hours of peace and quiet. (Something my own mother said she wanted for nearly every occasion, but we insisted on perfume, earrings, or the like.  Now I know…all she really did want was peace and quiet!)

Last year, our Dossier was in Ethiopia and we were waiting for our referral.  Initially (before God’s nudging and us realizing the plan He had in store for our family), we had requested a little girl between 0-36 months.  On Mother’s Day, we would have been waiting approximately two months.  On Mother’s Day, our daughter was alive, most likely with her birth family and our son was waiting in the orphanage with older children, wondering who his new family would be and when they would arrive.  I remember praying hard for our children last year, children 8000 miles away whom we had never met.  I prayed that God would somehow unite us in spirit, in ways our eyes may never physically see, and give us peace and wisdom that only He could provide.  I also remember praying that our daughter was with her birth mother, being nursed, and was able to form a loving attachment.  (Because of the age range we were requesting, we felt we would be matched with a toddler, not an infant.)

How truly amazing God is and how perfectly he matches children with their forever families!

Behind the scenes, His plan was unfolding.  Someone on the other side of the earth was either sick and dying or planning to give up their daughter.  A grandmother caring for her grandson has died suddenly, leaving no one able to care for him.  In a perfect world, no one would ever have to decide whether or not to abandon their child.  In a perfect world, medication would have been accessible so that birth parents would not have died.  In a perfect world, God’s love would move people to care for one another and put others before self.  However, we live in a fallen world, a world fraught with injustice, social inequity, poverty, epidemics, and self-serving behavior.  How sad the state of our world; yet how our God continues to love us and work through the mess we create.

Last year, as we continued to wait for our referral, God opened our eyes to the countless older children waiting for homes.  While we never thought in a million years He would ask us (whose oldest child at the time was only three years of age) to adopt an older child, He insisted on waking me up every night around 3:00 a.m. until I got the message.  ”Ummm…do you know that boy you have been praying about for months?  Yes, it is you…you are his family.  Yes, you.  Why not you?  Just because you don’t know anything about parenting a pre-adolescent doesn’t mean you can’t learn.  Be willing.  Trust me.”  It was the voice of truth! The other voices I was hearing up until God quietly got His point across went something like this: “Surely you cannot do this. What do you know about older kids, anyway?  Don’t you have enough on your plate?  Three preschoolers and a non-English speaking eleven year old.  Good luck with that!  Be scared…be very, very scared.  Older kids could kill you…burn your house down, stab you in your sleep!  Come on, don’t you read the news.”  One thing I have learned over the years is anything that elicits fear as opposed to love does not come from God.  Period.  I told those voices to take a hike and the rest is history.

Well, not quite.  When I first told my husband that we, in fact, were supposed to be the family of ‘that boy we had been praying for daily’, he about fell over.  Then, to my amazement, he got up from the ground and said, “OK, let’s do it!”  Then…the rest is history.

We have now been home for three months with Sporty (11 years old) and Sassy (now 20 months old).  Let me just tell you how perfectly God matched us.  All of our children are strong-willed, independent, spunky, athletic, loud, and eager to learn.  I am amazed at how quickly (even though the days and nights have been very long, exhausting, and challenging) our family has created a ‘new normal’ and how quickly everyone has adjusted to their new roles.  How the children have formed new relationships with each sibling separately and also collectively as a new family unit.  How my husband and I have recreated our daily routines to account for the soccer practices, homework, and caring for four children.  Sporty, social yet shy, has jumped right into the mix at school, in our neighborhood, and on the soccer field.  He is neither a sociopath nor arson.  Yet, sensitive, caring, intuitive, and is full of life.  Sassy, our little princess, dons her helmet and gets right in the mix with boys.  (Like her mommy, she doesn’t realize how small she actually is!)  She mirrors my words, actions, and gestures and attempts to mother the rest of the house.  She is full of energy, curiosity, and spunk.  The three little ones are best friends and typical siblings.  While only 10% of the world’s population is left-handed, currently 50% of our household right-brained.  (I’m not sure what this means, but thought it was an interested fact.)

Oh, and just this morning Sassy did the (seemingly) strangest thing.  She pulled at my shirt and said, “Mommy, milk.”  She has never done this before but in the past week I have sensed that memories of her past life are blurring and will eventually fade. She looked at me, her mommy and blended together her old and new life.  I was not the mommy who nursed her, but in a nod from God spoken through two words from our daughter, He answered my prayer.  Sassy was indeed nursed and had formed a healthy attachment with her first mom.  God is faithful.

In adoption circles, we often speak of how perfectly God matches children and families.  While this used to be a statement conveying blind faith and trust, it is now something I have witnessed through faith and with my own eyes.  Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will direct your paths.”  I only wished I could have embraced this truth so fully from the beginning, as it would have taken away so much of the stress that surrounds adoption.

Thank you, God for trusting us in our imperfect and flawed ways.  Thank you for teaching us to trust in you always and lean not on our own understanding.  Thank you for working out all of the countless details to bring together and unite our entire family.  Adoption truly is a match made in heaven.

Monica’s Blog.

I am blessed to get to be part of this crazy blog while Kari is in Uganda.  We are one of those families that God has chosen and blessed to grow by adoption.  Our family is currently a family of four and is growing to become a family of six.  We have one homemade daughter, a son adopted from Russia, and are adopting twin girls from Uganda.  Over mother’s day I was asked what is the one thing I want to teach my beautiful children?      Initially that seems like a difficult question.  Right now I want them to learn their ABC’s in the correct order, to shut the door when they enter the house, I want them to say yes ma’am and no ma’am, learn how to drink out of a cup without spilling it, and I would love it if they could learn how to buckle themselves into their car seats.  Sounds silly, I know, but mothers of toddlers understand that these simple things have the potential to make my life a bit more pleasant.  But are any of these the one thing I want my children to learn? No.  When contemplating this question I remembered a piece of wall art hanging up in my grandmother’s bathroom.  It is one of those that someone has cross-stitched a Bible verse onto.  The verse is in 3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth.”

The one thing I want for my children to learn is to love the Lord.  I want them to know Him and experience how amazing His love is for us.  This makes the little things like not spilling your drink seem a bit insignificant.  I have been feeling this a lot lately.  The aspects of normal life have been seeming non-important or even more like distractions.  Have I been allowing these little distractions to keep me from showing my children to love the Lord?

I was also drawn to the great commission when looking into this topic.  Matthew 28:19  ”Go and make disciples of all nations. . .”  I am supposed to be teaching my children to be disciples.  The one thing I want my children to become are disciples.  God has been teaching me that the most important thing I can do for my children is to show them how to be disciples of Him.  How can I teach them this when I am still working on learning it myself?  This is not something I can teach them through words I must show them.  My family and I are taking our children to Uganda with us to complete the adoption of our daughters.  My prayer is that this serves as an example of discipleship to them.  Now I just need to work on incorporating this into our crazy daily life.  You can follow us on this journey at www.stewartsadoption.blogspot.com

What Can I Do With All This Love?

My husband and I began sponsoring ten year old ‘K’ through Children’s Hopechest in the Spring of 2009. When we travelled to Ethiopia to bring home our two children the following year, meeting him was a definite pit stop on my tourist schedule of Ethiopia. We spent several days visiting K’s school, care center and seeing an entirely different side to the city of Addis Ababa and the unique challenges faced by children who are in abject poverty. It was the most rewarding and heart twisting weeks of my life. I looked down and my heart was gone. It was know being carried by a tiny stature of a boy who was suddenly latched to my hand and calling me “mama.” It was second nature for me to call him “son.”

K didn’t steal my heart; I gave it the first day I threw my arms around him. I cried from the minute we got in the cab to head home. How could I have been so arrogant to believe that I would travel across the world, meet a child I only knew in letters and not be forever changed by that? Being home with a two and six year old proved distracting enough, but I couldn’t shake my time with K. I knew that our lives intersected for a special purpose and I wanted to know what more I could do to use that love and engage further in advocacy, orphan care and adoption.

As my husband and I discussed our options, we contacted our agency about adopting K. Adoption was the only language I was speaking in response to what I had seen in Ethiopia. When our adoption agency called us back and advised that K was unadoptable because he was living with his grandmother, I was actually crushed. My mama instinct kicked in and I kept arguing with myself that while he was still in his home country and surrounded by his culture, he didn’t have a mother. And I felt I was the only person who could fill that role for him. Selfishly, I wanted K here, in our home, in my reality of every day life, but God began convicting my heart and asking me to question if I wanted K here for my glory or if I wanted God to be glorified. OUCH!

With prayerful consideration and laying down my dreams, I asked what would most glorify God and continue to share my love for orphans, adoption and missions. I wrote a children’s book about a little boy who walks each day for water in Africa and when I went to meet the illustrator, he asked me if I had suggestions for the look of the main character. I laughed. No. I didn’t have suggestions; I only saw one face when I wrote the book; K’s. The book, “I Walk for Water”, will be released on June 12^th, 2011, which not coincidently, is K’s 12^th birthday. This fall, I will travel to Ethiopia to read the book to K in person and in public for the first time. He has no idea. We’ll be taking a documentary crew along to film the event and hopefully within the next year, K and I’s story will become a video journey of how one love can inspire another, and perhaps change the world.

The project has been such an amazing collaboration of love and fun, we’ve started our own publishing company. Hilarity Waters Press is a collaboration of artisans who refine education through stories and see those stories to life through art, illustration and imagination in order to bring about social and global change. A portion of the proceeds from “I Walk for Water” will be donated to Water Is Life, a non-profit known internationally for its ability to provide life giving water solutions. We will also offer wholesale pricing for individuals and organizations who want to use the book as fundraising for adoption, orphan care and/or missions.

Our journey with K is definitely ANYTHING but over. I would have never thought that God would have used a picture that sat on my desk to completely change my views on adoption, orphan care, and mothering from across the globe. His ways are so much more beautiful than we would know and while I am still standing ready to bring that little boy if it is His will; I am resolute that it must be HIS will and not mine, my family’s or K’s.

So while you are searching your heart for “what can I do with all this love?”, use the talents God has already given you and give it back to Him.

Hugs and Love,

Lindsey Andrews

http://africaboundandrews.blogspot.com

Found Abandoned.

Two words and yet practically everything we know about our daughter’s past.  Not found abandoned with instructions attached.  Not found abandoned with a letter describing life conditions too harsh to raise a child.  Not found abandoned with a letter stating how much he or she really loved this child yet was unable to provide for her.  Not found abandoned with a piece DNA material attached to help us locate any family member that may be living.  The only information we have about our daughter’s past are those two words, along with a police statement, a few statements from witnesses, and the location of her abandonment.  On a hopeful note, the location of Sassy’s abandonment suggests that the person ‘dropping her off’ knew what they were doing and wanted her to be adopted.

Left to my imagination, coupled with life conditions we witnessed when traveling and what I have come to learn about our daughter’s personality, I suspect that someone loved her very much. Sassy’s ability to give and receive love demonstrates either a strong attachment to a previous caregiver or a fierce resilience and determined spirit.  I suspect there was either a death in the family or life conditions that warranted making the most difficult decision of one’s lifetime.  I suspect someone is still out there wondering if Sassy made it home and I wish I could just pick up the phone and let him or her know she has arrived, is thriving, and that all is well…except that huge gaping hole.  Who are you?  Where are you?  Does she have sisters or brothers?  Why didn’t you just go into the police station?  Why didn’t you provide more information?

Years from now when Sassy starts asking questions, I hope my answers and the love of our family are enough to make her feel secure and confident; although I know they will not be sufficient.  Nothing our family can give her will ever fill that gaping hole.  An information hole and probably a hole in her heart.  Thankfully, our God is bigger than any life circumstance.  He can fill any hole, heal any hurt, and provide a peace of mind that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

When the time comes to discuss her past, I am confident God will provide the right words and give our family direction.  He always does.  At this point in time, I do not know what that will look like, but I trust that it will happen when the time is right. Day by day, month by month, year by year, as we shower Sassy with our love, teach her about our faith in Christ, and parent all of our children to the best of our abilities, we pray that God is working from within.  That He is behind the scenes, building the foundation, and instilling faith and confidence.  Our God is the God of all things seen and all things unseen.  Although the trials of this life may never make sense to me while walking the earth, I earnestly believe Romans 8:28 when it says God causes everything to work together for the good of those who Him and are called according to His purpose for them.

In my opinion, Isaiah (who prophesied approximately 720-780 years before the birth of Christ), has some of the most beautiful, poetic, and profound statements in the entire Bible.  I will close this post with Isaiah 40:28-31.  A message of power, hope, confidence, and faith.  The passage states, “Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Oh, and let us not forget…God has found each and every one of us abandoned.  So, while we may not have a police report documenting the conditions surrounding our abandonment, our hearts each have their own story.  Found abandoned has nothing on our living God!

Monica’s Blog.

“Good Doesn’t Mean Easy”