My crazy bloggy friends, I’m taking the next few weeks to update our homestudy for our 2nd adoption.  We had our home visit and are requesting a girl between ages 4-6, but keeping the door open wide up to 10 years old.  There will still be scheduled mommyhood & adoption blog posts, as well as guest bloggers.  Special note: Unfortunately, I won’t be able to respond to your bloggy emails, due to officially starting my paper-baby pregnancy and need to focus 100% on important documents that will help get the ball rolling.  I call this Trimester 1: Crazy Homestudy (scones help soothe nausea!)

I reallllly love reading your bloggy comments, emails, and responding to your important adoption questions.  I will return back to full speed and will respond to all emails the following weeks ahead, thank you for your understanding.  New readers, I hope you will take some time to go back in time… blast to the past posts.  I started blogging 3 years ago, and have posts that will hopefully inspire you as a momma, perspective adoption family or just getting to know me a little more.

Our Simply Love Shirts are available until April 4th…. end of blitz.  We will continue to keep busy rolling and mailing out T shirts for you.  My family wants to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for helping support our 2nd adoption! 100% of proceeds goes directly into our adoption account.

Please pray for our family as we start FUNraising for our adoption at crazy speed.  If you want to help us raise the Program Fee- $4,500 we would be very grateful.  I added a ChipIn button on the top right side.

Talk to you soon…. my crazy adoption starts today!

You can help make adoption #1 top mommy blog- Click this button everyday 2 Vote- that’s it!

I’m so honored to introduce you to the Patterson Family!  You will be inspired tremendously from their adoption story and the miracles God has poured abundantly.  You can visit Lorraine’s amazing blog- All Are Precious in His Sight and join together to pray for sweet Chrissie!

Here’s their adoption story:

We are a growing adoptive family:  Matt (39), Lorraine (38), Parker (bio, age 13), Meribeth (Colombia, age 12, adopted at age 11), Mattie (bio, age 12), Sawyer (bio, age 9), and Chrissie (Serbia, age 4, adopted at age 4 with severe congenital heart defects).  We don’t know how many children God plans to share with us, but we have joyfully and wholeheartedly said, “Yes, Lord…” (and there’s not a period at the end of that statement).  It’s open.  We’re open.  Open hearts.  Open minds.  Open home.  Open to whomever God chooses to bless us with, no matter what color, size, age, ability (or disability); if God calls us to rescue a particular child (or children), our instant answer is, “Yes, Lord…”.

We weren’t always this way.  God has done many miracles in our lives.  We didn’t always know we would be an adoptive family.  We weren’t always passionate about adoption…until God called us.  Proverbs 24:12 reminds us, “Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.”

God began this journey with us back in 2003, but we didn’t realize exactly what He had in store as He began preparing our hearts for adoption.  At that time, our children were 3, 5, and 7, and God introduced us to an amazing family who lived in our neighborhood who also homeschooled.  The mom, Stephanie, became a dear friend of mine, and her two daughters, Emily and Samantha (ages 9 and 11 at the time) felt like they were a part of our family.  Then their father abandoned them and chose to live with another woman in another state.  Crushed.  Abandoned.  But not forgotten.  Our Father loved this precious family dearly, and He called our family to stand in the gap as their earthly father walked out.  My husband, Matt, stepped up to be their dad.  We took Emily and Samantha on vacations with us, they came to our house daily, and they were included in family celebrations, holidays, etc. as if they were our own children.  Stephanie did as well.  This was God’s way of turning our hearts toward adoption.  Even though we didn’t legally adopt Samantha and Emily (as they have a wonderful, loving mom), God gave us the model of His plan for adoption.  Psalm 68:5-6a assured us to live out this life with joy, regardless of “legal adoption” status, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families…”.

God has a family chosen for every single orphan out there.  He loves each of them dearly.  He promises in John 14:18 to not leave us as orphans.  That means every one of us, regardless of how we became orphaned, regardless of what that might look like to the world, regardless of how much money it might cost, regardless of how challenging it may be.  He loves us that much.  And more.

In November, 2007, God called us to adopt an 11-year-old girl from Colombia who had suffered a traumatic life.  She had lost her mother to cancer, her grandmother to brain damage, her father to prison, plus she had suffered more abuses throughout her eleven  years of life than any of us will endure in our lifetime.  We said yes.  Meribeth became our “legal” forever daughter on November 16, 2008, and her life has been turned from hopeless to rescued.  It’s all God.  He has worked miracles in our daughter’s life, and while the path has been filled with many bumps, bruises, setbacks and challenges, saving the life of one child is worth it.  That’s what Christ does for us.  (Although we haven’t endured anything in comparison to what Christ endured for us.)  It’s all about love.  Unconditional love.  The kind of love that doesn’t require anything in return.  The kind of love we’re not able to give on our own.  It’s all God.  We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.  (Philippians 4:13)

In June 2009, God called us to rescue a 4-year-old girl in Serbia who would die in her country of heart failure.  The cardiologists in American said her condition wasn’t compatible with life.  Until God sent us His cardiologist.  Dr. Mary Porisch contacted our family to let us know that she would be willing to help Chrissie if we chose to adopt her.  Another medical missionary cardiologist, “Dr. Kirk”, encouraged us to follow God’s calling, and not allow the world’s warped opinion to deter us from obeying God.  We said yes.  (We actually said yes before we ever talked to a cardiologist about her heart conditions because God asked us to obey His calling, regardless of the outcome.  He used this scripture to speak His desire into our hearts, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is within the power of your hand to do so.”  Proverbs 3:27)  We had the power to rescue Chrissie, regardless of the outcome, and all we had to do was say yes.  We couldn’t let Chrissie perish.  We set out to adopt this sweet little girl, and in October 2009, Chrissie became our “legal” forever daughter.   Even with all of her dire medical conditions, emotional scars, physical scars, abandonment issues, and all that an orphan is forced to deal with,  Chrissie is the most joyful girl you’ll ever meet.  Filled with joy.  Overflowing.  It’s all God.  She is our miracle girl, and we’re so blessed that God chose us as her forever family.

Our entire family, from the tallest to the smallest, has been deeply touched by adoption.  Forever changed in ways that only God can do as He builds our forever family.  We are learning valuable things like selflessness, serving, giving and loving as God teaches us the real meaning of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  (Galatians 5:22-23)  And the greatest of these is love.  If we have not love, we are nothing.  ( 1 Corinthians 13)

We know God has more children chosen for us.  We don’t know who, when, how many or where, but our answer is, “Yes, Lord…”.  The children are worth it.

New Update today on Chrissie from mom:

Chrissie was recently hospitalized for her metapneumovirus, they had to do a chest x-ray, and they discovered that the stent that the cardiologist put into one of Chrissie’s arteries has fractured.  It’s in an area that goes into her lung where she has TINY blood flow to begin with.  (There’s no blood flow from her heart to her lungs, but God created some God-made vessels in her neck that work independently of the heart to get blood to the lungs…an amazing miracle.)  Anyway, the one vessel that goes into one of her lungs was very narrowed with only a TINY passageway for blood to get through, so the cardiologist put a stent in back in November.  It was a grueling procedure for her, as the vessel nearly burst and the stent couldn’t expand to its full capacity b/c the vessel was too hard and constricted and all sorts of issues.  Anyway, that stent is “fractured” now, which means that there are several pieces of it that have broken off.  The cardiologist may need to try to repair that before Chrissie’s open heart surgery, but she needs another CAT scan to be able to determine blood flow rates, etc. through that area.  The CAT scan must be done under anesthesia, which is another hospital stay for our little traumatized darling.  We don’t yet know when they’ll do the CAT scan either b/c her immune system must be strong.  (The cardiologist said that going under anesthesia can cause the body to revert back to lung/pulmonary distress, so they want to wait till Chrissie’s body is fully recovered from this metapneumovirus.)

Please add Patterson’s special “Pray For Chrissie” button on your blog and pray for miracles.

Do you want to help make crazy adoption #1 mommy blog- all you need to do is click on the button & that grabs your vote.  That’s it… click click click.  Click button everyday 2 Vote!

Do you feel like you’re going a little crazy coming to my blog and seeing T shirts again?  I never wanted to delve into the apparel business, but I have to tell you… I’m crazy about adoption T shirts!  I have officially completed HopeChest Project and now ready to offer you MY Simply Love Africa T shirts that support our 2nd adoption.  We are adopting an older girl from Ethiopia and can’t wait to bring her home.  100% of proceeds from our T shirts go directly into our adoption account.  Thank you for wrapping your heart & supporting my next crazy adoption.  Love will always find a way!

T SHIRT BLITZ ENDS APRIL 4th!!  You should receive your T shirts 7-10 days after your order.  My Mens T shirt shipment arrives on Thursday (2-25) thanks for waiting for Man Up!!

What’s New:

1. I have inventory of Simply Love shirts for Men & Women… a brand new batch ready to go.  You can purchase my Simply Love Africa T shirts with Paypal button or send me a check- email me.  My T shirts Blitz ends April 4th… to save every penny, I will continue to order in bulk batches of 25.
2. I have a Simply Love Store- CLICK HERE.

Simply Love Store-

Simply Love Africa is our fundraiser for our 2nd adoption to Ethiopia. Every T shirt helps us bring our new daughter home. 100% of proceeds goes directly into our adoption account. We ask that when you wear our T’s that you pray for our family throughout the adoption process this year. Thank you for your support, prayers, and cheers!

WOMENS SIMPLY LOVE AFRICA T:

The Women’s T shirts are UNISEX extra soft and they will fit like a unisex/men cut- loose & roomy like your hubbys T.  (ladies… this is NOT A SLIM SHIRT!!!)   The black T has Tiffany blue swirls and the saying on the back- Love Will Always Find A Way.  The verse Phillipians 4:6-7 surround Africa.  (special note- all Canada & International- email me for additional shipping costs)

SIMPLY LOVE WOMEN T

Women’s Small $24.95 Women’s Medium $24.95 Women’s Large $24.95 Women’s XLarge $24.95

MENS SIMPLY LOVE AFRICA T:

The Men’s T shirts are extra soft and fit normal.  The army green T has black, red colors- and the saying on the back “Man Up. Protect and Love the Fatherless.  The verse Philippians 4:6-7 surrounds Africa.  (special note: for Canada & International -additional shipping costs necessary- email me.)

SIMPLY LOVE MENS T

Men’s Small $24.95 Men’s Medium $24.95 Men’s Large $24.95 Men’s XLarge $24.95 Men’s 2XL $25.95

YOUTH T’S- I need to have pre-order of 25 youth T’s before I can sell.  Email me.

Coming home with a new adopted child is challenging, joyful, scary as heck, exhausting and miraculous all wrapped up in love.  You want to be prepared and realistic about feelings that might come out of the craziness and turn life upside down for a period of time.  I’m so excited to have my first guest blogger, Kari Potthoff share some great adoption tips to help soothe the homecoming jitters.  She shares honestly and with a big dose of reality with helpful advice to support adoption homecomings…

Welcome Home Adoption:
There are nine families on their way home this weekend from Kenya with their beautiful new children from Rwanda. It has been interesting watching their travels as they had a rather different experience then us. Something I have been meaning to blog about is the often not discussed issue of homecoming. Regardless of how easy or difficult a family’s time in country obtaining their child is they will experience bumps when they get home. Yes, it is easier for some then others depending on so many factors; the age of the child, the number of children adopted, gender, health, personality, prior quality of care, the children already home and the family’s level of preparation prior to travel. There is something called post-adoption depression and I think it is more common then adoptive parents (mainly mothers because they usually are the primary caretakers upon arrival home), want to admit. But the reality is that after 12 months of completing paperwork and background checks and saving and fundraising that homecoming is often not the wonderful, peaceful experience that one might have hoped it to be. A good social worker will educate adoptive parents about this but often no matter how prepared they are it is still dang hard.

At minimum after arriving home the family will be exhausted and jet lagged. Often the adopted kidos may sleep unusually well and not show any problematic behaviors for the first few weeks. But after they recover their energy and get settled the most challenging period of adjustment begins. Again this varies greatly, some families may not have any issues. For sure though if they have welcomed a child over the age of 2 years into their home they are going to have to work through some behaviors and difficult adjustment at times. There are also specific medical issues that need to be dealt with when a child is adopted from Africa such as parasites, GI issues, and malnutrition. If a child has lived in a orphanage for a extended time (more then 6 months) then they probably are going to have developmental delays as well.

So basically what I am saying is that the first few months home are a critical period for the new family and they will need the support and understanding of their family, friends, coworkers and community. At this same time parents will need time to focus on what is called “attachment parenting”. If extended family and friends do not understand what that means their can be tension during visits and the relationship between the adoptive family and child can be compromised. Here are some basic recommendations that I am providing to family, friends, coworkers, church members, neighbors, anyone who wants to help a family who has just arrived home with a internationally adopted child (I think it is a bit different for domestic or foster/adopt but you may be able to relate). Some of these we have received and others I wish we would have. I will say though, that it was interesting to me the differences in how people responded to the birth of our son, versus the adoption of our daughter, and then the adoption of our second son. I will let you decide what I might mean by that.

• First and foremost treat everything about the adoption as you would have if the family had given birth. Hold a baby shower, make welcome signs, send them balloons (avoid latex as they are serious choking hazards) or flowers. If you send a gift, wrap it in baby paper or appropriate paper for a older child. This is a time to celebrate the same that you would if the child was a newborn birth child. This may vary by age of the adopted child, but I think that ALL children deserve to be celebrated and I know that the parents would really appreciate the thought. It is a once in a lifetime experience.
• Also really important is to ask them what they need help with, you might be surprised.
• Offer to drop off or pick them up at the airport (airport parking is very expensive)
• Stock their fridge and cupboards just before they get home, you have no idea how good a diet coke (no diet pop their) and fresh vegetables (can’t eat fresh vegetables) taste after being in Africa.
• Bring them a hot meal the first night home, even better deliver a hot meal every night for the first week home.
• Clean their house for them or hire someone to do it just before they come home, have it done again a few weeks later (when things really start to get tough).
• Offer to babysit any other children in the home so that they can get some much needed attention and parents can have some one on one with the new one/s.
• Offer to give rides to older children who may need to get to activities.
• If it is winter go shovel their driveway and sidewalks.
• Offer to run errands for the family or to go to the store (Having to take my screaming toddler to the store, and having everyone stare at me has been one of my worst post adoption experiences)
• Simply lend a open ear, encourage the new mom to be open and honest about her feelings and needs. Take her out for a break, a cup of coffee or a nice lunch.
• This one is REALLY important so I am leaving it for last: During any visits that happen in the first few months be respectful of the adoptive parents wishes regarding feeding, holding, and comforting the child. A child who has lived in a orphanage has passed through the hands of MANY caregivers and it is crucial that they learn to go to their new parents as the sole primary caregivers in the beginning. It would not have been normal for our oldest son to jump on the lap of a complete stranger at the age of 2 years and as hard as it is to understand you are a stranger to this child. So just ask the parents what the “rules” are. It may vary by household and how involved you are with the family. My personal preference for this issue is fairly conservative, I did not want anyone else holding, comforting or feeding my adopted kids for the first two months home. Especially for my son since we went through a period of him rejecting having a mommy. For a toddler in particular, if the parent has taken something away from the kido and they start screaming it would not be o.k. for a different person to then confuse the child by comforting him or her. You see what I mean, this can be complicated so if you are not sure just ask.

That certainly is not a extensive list of how to help but I think this got long enough. Any questions? Feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to answer.

Kari Neubauer Potthoff, PhD
Licensed School Psychologist
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
kneubauerpotthoff@gmail.com

MY CRAZY TALK: Please share your crazy homecoming stories.  Did you feel support or lost when you came home?  What is one helpful thing your family or friends did to make your adoption homecoming special or feel supported?  If you have not had your homecoming yet, share with us what you think you might need from your community of adoption cheerleaders.

EMAIL ME for your virtual packet today… I will work hard to respond to your requests on a daily basis.

I have prayed for the past year for a way to help families fundraise for their own adoptions, as well as mission trips and special projects that are geared to love orphans.  You already know I’m a big fan of T shirts, so I came up with the idea to share my design and created 11 new countries.  I call my project- “Pick My Country” for families adopting from all over the world or anyone advocating for orphans.

11 Countries Available for “Pick Your Country”:  USA, China, Africa, Nepal, Haiti, Russia, India, South Korea, Kazakhstan, Philippians, Guatemala

This package is exclusively for fundraising families or groups that want to spread some love.  We are introducing 11 new Simply Love Countries- Men & Women & Youth designs for you to pick and use for your own personal fundraisers, projects, mission trips, travel groups and more.  I have prayed for an opportunity to help others raise the necessary funds for their own adoptions.  We’re all in this together!!  You will receive:

1. a detailed virtual packet with photos to download- Adoption In A Box.
2. fundraising ideas that are fun and inspiring.
3. details on ordering your own T shirts.

The most exciting news- if you are the first to order a “Pick My Country” packet you get to name the T shirt.  We already named Africa- Zoie, Russia- Lanie, and China- Annie, but the rest are up for grabs!! Also, if there is a country you want, but it is not listed-  We can custom design your Simply Love Country in up to 3 days.

For those of you waiting to purchase my Africa Simply Love T shirts- Women & Men Styles, I will have the store back up and running soon.  I have ordered them and will have sizes available for immediate purchase.  100% of proceeds go directly into our adoption account.  Unfortunately, we can’t sell our new 9 T shirt designs individually, due to the minimum order requirements, however, you can email me and purchase the “Pick My Country” of your choice.

Email me- you can start today!

Here’s a sneek peek of Simply Love China & Russia. (I’ll post all 9 soon)  All T shirts have the verse that encouraged us during our adoption for Zoie… Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) wrapped around the country.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

(Simply Love China- Men & Women front)

(ALL SIMPLY LOVE BACKS- Women & Men)

(Simply Love Russia- WOMEN & MEN)

(Simply Love USA)

(Simply Love Haiti)

(Simply Love Kazakhstan)

(Simply Love India)

(Simply Love South Korea)

(Simply Love Nepal)

Adoption in a Box:  You pick!!

1. Simply Love USA
2. Simply Love Haiti
3. Simply Love Russia
4. Simply Love India
5. Simply Love China
6. Simply Love Africa
7. Simply Love Guatemala
8. Simply Love South Korea
9. Simply Love Nepal
10. Simply Love Kazakhstan
11. Simply Love Philippians

Have you ever met someone and you knew instantly it was God ordained.  This is one of the most painful stories I hold in my heart from our time in Ethiopia, but with the blessing of the Joner Family, we want to share their adoption story and celebrate God’s precious love.   It’s a story of pain and joy and miracles.  When we traveled to Ethiopia, we met a beautiful baby girl named Alem that was wrapped up in a blanket cuddled next to Zoie at the Transitional Home.  She and Zoie both had pneumonia and had been in the hospital together.  I was called “Spy Girl” in my adoption circle, so to live up to my name, I took a million photos of all the children waiting for their families at home.  I took so many photos of Alem.  She grabbed my heart… soft black curls, tiny fingers and an angelic face.  Little did I know, her name would be Julia.  I was so excited to show her off to her new parents – photos are priceless treasures.  I’m so honored to introduce you to, Jessica Joner, one of the most remarkable adoptive moms I’ve ever met…. here is her story.

Jessica’s Story:

Even before we were married, we both know that we wanted to adopt some day.  After having our two wonderful boys,  we felt that we were ready to start praying about adopting.  As we prayed about it, we really felt God specifically leading us to adopt from Ethiopia.  Our desire started out as a desire to have another child in our family, and now going through the process, our eyes and hearts have been moved in a big way as we see the desperate need to care for these orphans.

In July, we received our adoption referral for our first daughter, Julia Alem, a beautiful two month-old baby girl who was found abandoned when she was just a few days old.  Our hearts instantly bonded with Julia as we had been praying for over a year for this tiny baby that God had placed in our hearts.  Unfortunately, a few weeks after we received our referral, Julia became very sick with pneumonia and passed away when she was just three months old.

We were overwhelmed with the grief and sadness of losing Julia because our love and bond for her was so great.  Thankfully,  we also felt so much deep joy and peace knowing that we knew exactly where she was, perfect and complete in the arms of Jesus.  We were so blessed to meet Kari who was able to meet Julia and held her in Ethiopia.  She had so many beautiful pictures to share with us.  God, in is His great mercy, blessed us with the referral of our daughter, Jalene.  Amazingly, she shares the exact same birthday as Julia.  Our hearts were instantly in love with our daughter, Jalene.  We brought her home from Ethiopia on Valentine’s day last year.  Jalene is so full of joy and had blessed our family in an incredible way.  Our journey of adoption was not easy, but it was worth every moment in the end.  We feel so blessed to have the privilege of loving two beautiful girls.

Joner Family Adoption “Gotcha Day” Video-